hi, it's me again.

Good Day, Internet!

It's been a solid 8-9 years before my last post. I even tried to start a new blog in that time, abandoned that one too. I gave myself the excuse that I was too busy. Most likely just so dead inside that I couldn't get myself to commit 30 minutes a week to some thoughtful musings.

I've decided to reprise this blog, and not the other one that I started after I moved to NYC, because this is special. I've been working for the past 7 years and I wanted to contrast a whole bunch of things:

1) How I've evolved (and devolved) as a human/thinker/pop culture consumer.
2) How the internet has evolved (and devolved) in the past 7-8 years.
3) How media and representation has evolved/devolved in the past years. (hellloooooo reboots!)

Movie montage catch up of the last 7-8 years:

- Moved to NYC
- Got dumped
- Changed careers 2 times
- Fell in love

- Got a dog
- Got married

Enough about me, let's get back into it, like the good ol' days.

How the Internet has changed in the past 7-8 years.

Media on the internet has consolidated.

In the early 2010s, media companies saw the value of niche publications on the internet and decided that they wanted a piece of that dollar pie. Websites like AfterEllen was something I visited more frequently than FaceBook.

You could google "LGBTQ Representation in _________" and only see a handful of results (hopefully this blog too!) Nowadays... you'd find blogs, Facebook rants, Instagram posts, tweets, for nearly every topic and every angle of the topic.

How has media and representation has evolved/devolved in the past years.

There was a women's movement in the 90s. 

Something happened in the 2000s and people forgot that women are people too.

In 2019, we have laws in Alabama and Georgia to remind us that women aren't 100% safe. So we're doing this women's movement again in 2019.

This is why it's important that we continue to remind people that we can't be complacent. 

This is why media need to continue to represent women in strong, independent roles. Social media is now a huge part of your everyday media. 

What does this all mean?

So why am I interested in contributing to over-information?

I have too much time, okay?

No. With the convergence of how we consume media and what the internet has available, more than ever, we need to be mindful about what information is presented to us. We are all entitled to our beliefs. Which means, we should be very picky about what we should consider as truth.

I've gotten too much time on my hands, and I hope to be an extra voice in the universe in interpreting 'truth'.

Asian girls as an commodity.

I don't know why, but people frequently come up to me and ask, "can you hook me up with a hot Asian girl?"

And of course, my typical response is "wait in line". Just bc I scored myself a hot Asian doesn't mean everyone has what it takes to be me.

Mostly these people are friends and they are joking. (I hope). But it really worries me when they are strangers and acquaintances. What do I look like, an Asian pimp?!

So most recently, this chick added me on fb, and I'm trying to be as polite as possible, so I asked, "Do I know you?"

"No, but I'm looking for some gay Asian pussy and I'm from australia."

Yeah, because I am gay myself meaning I know ALL the gay Asian ladies. To be completely honest, the only Asian ladies that I know are conveniently the ones I've dated/been dating. Aside from them, they are the only gay ladies I know as well.

So I don't understand, what is it about Gaysians that everyone (including Asians) wants a piece of?

Of course, I proceeded to inform to miss australia that I am not an Asian pussy agency and unfriended her.

Don't get me wrong, I completely believe that having an attraction towards asians is the same way someone would be attracted towards girls with blonde hair, or blue eyes, or red hair. But anyone who solely seeks to date only one "kind" of women is... Creepy. I personally am an equal opportunity vendor. It's all about the chemistry.

So I understand that Asian women have an exotic look to them, raises great children, and is thought to be submissive.

Oh trust me, honey, I grew up with a Asian lady, and I can tell you right now that there's nothing submissive about my Asian mother. I turned out gay! How good of a mother can an Asian mother be if she raises a gay child! (please realize my tone of sarcasm) And exotic look? More like "all look the same"! When you drop your woman at the nail salon, you might just take the wrong one home!

I'm completely kidding.

Anywho, it is still quite unnerving for me to know that there are people out there who is actively seeking to date Asian girls.

I understand that people have their preferences and I shan't judge others sexual excursions, but please keep me out of it.

How much of a turn off would it be if I told my gf that the only reason why I'm dating her is bc she's Asian? She would punch me in the boob. I obviously date her bc she has an iPad 2.

Remember kids, I just act like a pimp, I'm actually not one. :/

ZOMG DEGRASSI!

So, 2 posts ago, I wrote a modified hate letter to multiple organizations to stop advertising for the MTV show, Degrassi.

As my gf pointed out, an organization such as Florida Family, they probably filter through all the "letters" they receive and send only the ones that support their cause. You know, for obvious reasons: spamming, hate letters, syphilis, whining children, whining parents, people like me, and etc.

BUT.

Florida Family's webmaster OBVIOUSLY did not look out for people like me, or there's probably some legislations against filtration and lobbying...

Well, regardless, I got THIS email back from Disney.

Score~~~ My letter got through.

DRAG ME DOWN. If you dare.

To show what I've actually accomplished in the 3 months that I've been "pretty busy", I have a short documentary for you guys. No, I haven't been dicking around or been having too much sex or spending every waking moment being mushy and lovey-dovey. I've been doing "work" and taking "classes".

This is what I call -- Drag Me Down.

I know, I know, the title sounds SUPER negative, but I think it's empowering. I feel it's a "What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" effect. Drag me down, but I get back up. Na mean? Also, "drag" as in "dress"... "Dress me down". Drag me down.

Okay, maybe it only makes sense to me.

here it is!

Well, lemme know what you think about, be completely honest, that's the only way we can grow~~ :D

Okay, this doc only took like 2 weeks to complete... so WHAT have I been doing for the rest of 2.5 months that I've been hibernating? Maybe you guys were right about me dicking around, having too much sex, and being mushy. :P

TAKE ACTION! I did.

Sooooo... I'm catching up on my gay news for the first time in, literally, 3 months. What have I been doing in the past 3 months, you ask?

Madly in love.

Cheesy? Indeed. I'm not too worried, I probably lost all my followers anyways... >< So I guess I'll have to pick up new ones. PLEZ FOLLOW ME!

Okay, so I was up on AfterEllen, and I found a few things:

First, a brief review of a lesbian mafia short film that was actually done by a dood that goes to IU with me. I haven't watched it yet, but it's about 11 minutes long. I'm waiting to watch it with my girl.

Second, I stumbled upon this petition to Florida Family. Yeah, I did laugh a little at the ridiculousness of this "default" letter, so I'm writing modified version to send to "this company".

It is very inspiring that your company would knowingly advertise during a television show that condones and promotes transgender lifestyles to an audience that is almost exclusively watched by young teens and children.

MTV is airing through their Teen Nick channel for kids episodes of the show called DeGrassi which affirms and promotes the transgender lifestyle to an audience of millions of young teens and children.

The Chasing Pavements II episode of DeGrassi contains graphic intimate relations between the female to male transgender character Adam and bi-sexual, lesbian character Fiona. In one scene Fiona kisses Adam, pulls up Adam’s shirt and rubs her hand slightly above Adam’s groin. Click here to see clips from this episode and numerous clips from other episodes showing Adam and Fiona kissing. I'm not gonna lie, the video is quite cheesy, and made by amateur fans of the show, it shows a pretty sweet montage of the moments Adam and Fiona shares during the show.

The My Body is a Cage I and II episodes of DeGrassi contains Adam’s official announcement that she is a male trapped in a female body. How powerful is this message to teens who could possibly be struggling with their own sexuality! Many teens and young children may have similar sentiments that they now have the vocabulary to express.

You would think by the number of episodes that MTV devotes to including the relationship between a female to male transgender high school student and a bi-sexual lesbian student that such relationships are a common occurrence in America’s high schools.

The odds of this bizarre relationship occurring in high schools are extremely rare. Yet, MTV feeds into the needs of educating the leaders of tomorrow with tolerance and acceptance of people with different gender identifications.

MTV airs a free promo for PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) on DeGrassi which directs kids to an organization that will encourage our youth to embrace a different sexual identity that may stay with them for life.

Please continue to advertise on this forward-moving, educational show.

Here is where I sent my revised letter to... seems like a lot of important people.

Thats all for today! Thanks for reading!!!

Let's be Natural.

Today's a shitty day. But I'm not gonna let the circumstances get to me. Today's gonna be a good day. Despite the rain.

So I'm sitting there in G310, everything flying over my head, but there's one thing that caught my attention: "swimming is natural."

What the fuck dropped on your head?

"Swimming is natural"???? Yeah, I can seep in waters for hours without pruning up, or have the natural mechanisms such as webbed-feet or flippers to facilitate the act of "moving in water". Most importantly, I HAVE LUNGS.

I was awoken from my rainy-day slumber by that comment so I decided to follow up on what was actually partaking in class.

Turns out, we were talking about techniques of movement by the body. How men walk a certain way, while women are expected to conform to a certain gait. Or even how men throws balls, contrasted with a woman with a softball.

One student argued that repeated motions make the body conform. Like how we don't squat. But if we did, our legs would be formed a certain way to show that we squatted. Due to the stress we put on our legs. Western civilization created "chairs" that position our body a certain way that we have no need to squat. And the lack of squatting creates "straight legs".

So this go back to my initial outrage: nature.

It's "natural" to sit and let your body rest. It's "natural" how people walk.

Hmm?

The number one thing that Lisa Yang gets harassed about is her gait. Look, I have a medium arch on my feet, if I walk "normally" for too long, my feet would hurt. I have calluses on the sides of my big toes because of my medium-arch. I roll my feet in when I travel long distances because that's how my feet carries me.

To me, that's completely natural. I don't wear "special shoes" or inserts (though I really should) to help my feet adjust to the weight of my body on it all day.But here's the paradox: I walk like a dude.

I make a conscious effort to walk to a human being by "nature's standards", meaning I don't walk on my knees or hands or any other part of my body; other than my feet. I use my feet to carry myself places I want to go. My feet aren't perfect, but they "conform to societal norms". But that's NOT good enough! Because of how my feet is built, I walk a certain way, naturally (for me at least). But since the way I walk is comfortable for me, but deemed masculine by others, therefore, I am judged.

But again, this is the world we live in where processed foods cost 1/10th of "natural, organic" foods.

Also we live in a world where women spent HOURS everyday caking on make-up to appear an "artificial beauty" that is acclaimed by the general public! Men spent hours trying to create an image of, "I am scruffy and haven't showered in 3 days. Sexy."

Now, my readers know how I feel about 'feminism' so this is not about 2nd or 3rd wave anything. This is about being "natural".

"Natural" is a loaded word. There is no standard set of anything. Don't get me started on gay equality and "naturality".

If I was "meant" to be any certain way, created by a Greater Power, I wouldn't be the societal outcast with my "deformities". I embrace my gait, my feet, my body, my mind, my there-lack-of-soul.

It's quite ironic how "organic" is equated to "different" or "special" when it's supposed to be "natural".

Boys who Don't Look Like Boys: To 5 Androgynous Men Who Won Over Many (too many) Asian Girls

My last post from eons ago regarding Girls Who Don't Look Like Girls had a pretty good response, and I promised a post regard Dudes who look like chicks, and here it is.

The same story: these guys are very cute and attractive, have millions of little girl fans everywhere swooning over them. Amazing ass hair and being scrawny ass and tall are their trademarks. So another sociological phenomenon: why do Asian girls love them?

I think this world is constantly searching for an equilibrium. When you open a can of pop, you hear the Tssk, and all the carbon dioxide in that can escapes to equalize with the air around it. Because the air we breathe has a much small concentration of carbon dioxide is in the can.

People are equilibrating. Instead of finding a man like the one on the Brawny paper towels, we float towards someone like Mr. Clean. Brawny man is all beard, lives in the woods, and chops trees. Mr. Clean has some sort of mystique about him that his shiny head is not telling us. He's "built" like the "brawny" men, but that earring and that look in his eyes say otherwise. In his hourglass shaped body, almost, to me, seems like, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, and moms".

Am I insinuating that Mr. Clean is paired with Mr. Really Clean? I'm not bold enough to put my foot down.

Essentially, we're looking for an equilibrium. To indulge in the "gayness" in everyone, these Asian girls choose to fan someone who isn't the classic "Brawny man" and still fit into the social norms of "being straight".

Because of how our social system is set up, either originates from the bible of the West, or what westernization has done to the East, the social normative is a man and a woman = couple. When that norm is taken down, or non-exposed to someone, he or she decides who to feel an attraction for. There is no such thing as a clean slate. As soon as a child is born, he or she is given a name. That name connotes more than just a label, identity, or gender. For example, sorry if any one out there with this name, but I'm just pulling this out of my ass. The name Joanne Rodriguez: What do assumptions do you immediately made?

Personally, I would gather that she is a female, potentially of hispanic or latino descent. The name Joanne is not a very "latino name", per se. So I would make assumptions regarding that her parents don't necessarily live in any latino countries. But I can be completely wrong.

Assume. Make and ass out of U and Me. Stereotypes are bad. Yes. But without stereotypes, how can we understand anything in this world? When you are stopped at a traffic light, you see a red light, and you learned it means stop. And the green means go. You learned it. Congratulations. If you didn't, please don't drive when I'm on the road, I'll post my driving schedule later.

So else where, you see the two colors again, instructing you to do something. Anything. And you see red. Stereotypically, you would assume that you should stop.

You're watching a movie. A person is killing people. Or the guy the story most is about. You make assumptions that the killer is the antagonist in this movie. Because stereotypically, that's what antagonists do.

I'm saying stereotyping is bad. But like every skill in life, know when to start or stop the use of it.

I ramble wayyyy too much. I need to get back on topic.

So, at equilibrium, we get these dudes that basically look like girls. Excuse me that my media circle is not very large, so I'll just resort to men of Taiwan's cinema. If you have other suggestions of men who look like girls, feel free to throw them at me. Except... don't actually "throw" them at me, I have a girlfriend. :)

5. Mike He 賀軍翔 -- He's really popular in Asian. That's all I can say about him, I don't really pay much attention to these pretty boys (sorry!). But I guess he's less "girly" than these other guys, but he's still very pretty. I mean his bone structure is more masculine, but still. Very pretty. Too pretty.

4. 唐禹哲 -- This dude is very pretty. I wouldn't say he particularly look a lot like a chick, but... he looks like a rice queen. Okay, he really doesn't, but I'm personally biased towards him because of my woman think he's so hot and shit. If she's dating me, and thinks he's hot... how manly can he be?

3. 汪東城 -- Seriously? I've seen girls who are wayyy more manly than him. In this pic, he kinda looks like Denise Ho. Except prettier. He's in a boy "band" (they don't play anything but with each other's hairs) called Fahrenheit and is the "brother band" of my fave, S.H.E. except they just look pretty.

2. 林志穎 -- He's been around for so long... *sigh* I remember watching him on TV when I was 5. And now he still looks like this means he was even more fem back in the days. He's so pretty. Like there's an actor dude out there that once said if he was a girl, he would so jump on Lin. Because... he looks like a girl. If he tells me he's straight, I'll tell you I like cock. (sorry for the vulgarity)

1. 吳尊 -- The first time I saw him, I thought he was the prettiest guy ever. My heart skipped a beat. He's so so so so so cute! But also means he look super much like a girl. His features are just so delicate. This may not be the best picture, but seriously. Very. fem.

The list above is just my personal opinion, I realize there are a lot of fans (including my girlfriend) of those celebrities, and please don't take offense. I've seen even more girlier boys, but never had the chance to catch their names. Not that I really care, for that matter. But just think about how what does this trend of loving girly men means for Asian girls.

Yahoo! News Can "simulate fellatio"

So I like to get my news while sitting in class. Okay, I'm posting a blog while I should be learning about chemical digestion in organisms. So I'm not the best student.

Recently, I've been trying to get back in touch with the world. Maybe reading about someone else's misery will make my own life seem more minute and careless.

I love controversy. I love gossip. So I love celebrity news. Sometimes.

Today, 11/24/09, I am sitting here in Ruesink's L112 Biology lecture, I got distracted and went to Yahoo! News on the home page. I read a little something last night about Adam Lambert's "racy performance" and how it was censored for the west coast. I mean, I'm sure they'd censor the performance for the whole country, but it was live, so they can only prevent the west coast from his reign of terror.

See, generally, when I see censorship on TV, I'm extra curious what's going on behind there. I mean, it's like Playboy; people like it because it leaves something to the imagination. I've seen porn out there that's actually censored, and I guess some people like that. But like on The Office, where they actually censor for comedic effects, it's because they are using the ridiculousness as humor. There's things they can't show or say on TV, thus they abuse their position by censoring, and you laugh. More.

So some kid on the west coast is watching the AMAs, and is hoping one of these days he'll be on that stage, except without a drug problem (we would hope). Then Adam Lambert's part is up, and instead of watching another performer on stage, interpreting their music, he see a chunk of mosaic block on TV. If he haven't heard the news, he would be super curious what happened there. So, like any teen these days, hops onto his computer, googles or Yahoo! searches "Adam Lambert censored". Bam! Over a million search results come up, and more likely then not, 75% of those links involve actual fellatio or analingus. How he's tainted and his computer has 203948032 viruses. Thanks for fucking up everything.

Like Adam Lambert said, it is really crass to edit to someone's performance. Music is all about entertainment and expression. Isn't it? Like Lambert said, his music is not for everyone. His show is not for everyone. If people want to watch the AMAs, they would turn to that channel. If Adam Lambert is not what someone wants to see perform, change the channel. If you stumble upon a porn channel, you don't wanna watch it? Change the channel.

Performers are there to entertain. People can choose not to watch. It's that simple. It's simply insulting to censor someone's art. Georgia O'Keefe would be pissed if someone "censored" her paintings and actually make it look like a flower. If you don't want to go to her gallery, then don't.

My judgements towards Yahoo! News are the fact that they would post something like that on their homepage and word the headline as "Lambert on AMA fallout". His performance was not a "fallout", what they did with his show was. As a reader, you would be intrigued or sympathetic by the headline. But sympathy is not what he wants. He's out and he's proud. His show is not a fallout.

Another bone I want to pick with Yahoo! News ("other then the one in my pants" - from Juno) is that, when you click on Lambert's story, there's "related news" scattered through out article. As related news, you can see pictures of other "Gay and Lesbian Hollywood Stars". It's somewhat insulting that gays and lesbians are set aside as a slide show. It's demonstrating that we ("society") still see people based on sexual orientation. Would Hollywood even exist without the plethora of overzealous gay people?

Absolutely not.

If there was a slide show called "Black People of Hollywood", it would simply derogatory. But sadly I would see Yahoo! News posting something like that. How about "White People of Hollywood"? It would just seems redundant. How about "Jews of Hollywood"? "Scientology of Hollywood"?

Exposure? Yes.

Blatant discrimination? Yes.

I mean, what is Yahoo! trying to say? Check out all these faggots and dykes in Hollywood. Look out. Or is it more of a "let's celebrate these people who make this place possible"?

Your decision. Let me know what you think.

Dyke, Dyke, Dyke, Dyke... FAGGOT!

I'm taking precious study time out to write a blog. Not really. Just procrastinating, of all things.

So today, I sat in on a lecture of my Amy's. (MY AMY ;)) This lecture was taught by Dr. Susan Stryker, my Gender Studies professor, whom I have great respect for, in the sense that she is very knowledgeable and highly intelligent. She seems to be a very easy-going person whilst making an impact in our LGBT community. If I got to know her, on a personal level, I might actually make her a personal hero of mine, but I haven't gotten to that level yet.

So back to sitting in lecture.

I was there to kill some time, also to learn about "Gender Identity and the Body". Well, I noticed a dramatic difference when she's in this 100-level class lecture, and also in my 200-level class discussion and lecture. She feels pretty comfortable to talk about many things in either classes, but there is far less discussion from the audience in this 100-level lecture. Though I understand the impersonality of a grand lecture hall, it seems these students aren't as willing to participate as well.

As I was exiting the classroom, I was walking in front of some girl. She was seemingly annoyed by the Professor, as she was making ignorant comments such as "Oh, she's a transgender and she has a partner..." I was quite offended by her statement, and just announced, "Well, why don't you just drop the class then, if you're not feeling comfortable in it." It wasn't directed at anyone, necessarily, but it was quite obvious why I said that. So she began to recover by saying, "Well, I guess if she used to be a man, then it works for her."

Pssht. Noob freshmen. Or maybe just hos in general. As a sophomore, I came back to much familiarity, but also more ignorance. In my Chemistry lecture, this girl was making annoyance comments regarding the material she was being taught. There were 200 people in that lecture hall who were there to learn. Honestly, of the 200, not many people are gonna eat that stuff up like candy, including myself. But we're all there for a reason, to fulfill our requirement, or to advance our understanding of the microscopic world. If you dont' like what is being presented to you, there is no knife at your neck. Please exit, there are people who are trying to get into this class. Thank you.

Back to Professor Stryker.

I think it's very impressive of her that she's out and comfortable with her sexuality like she is. There are many straight people out there who aren't as comfortable with themselves. Being gay or transgendered is ostracized by our narrow society, but instead of hiding the shadows of this marginalizing world, she's here to make a difference. She's here and she's queer.

I, Lisa Yang, personally don't quite think my orientation matters as much to my life as my person as a whole. I don't care about making everyone I encounter aware of my status as a lesbian, but rather, I care to let them know that I'm a passionate person who will get the job done right.

I'm not sure about Professor Stryker's starting point regarding her "outness", but she's only hoping to better this world.

So here, my kudos to you, Professor Stryker.