ZOMG DEGRASSI!

So, 2 posts ago, I wrote a modified hate letter to multiple organizations to stop advertising for the MTV show, Degrassi.

As my gf pointed out, an organization such as Florida Family, they probably filter through all the "letters" they receive and send only the ones that support their cause. You know, for obvious reasons: spamming, hate letters, syphilis, whining children, whining parents, people like me, and etc.

BUT.

Florida Family's webmaster OBVIOUSLY did not look out for people like me, or there's probably some legislations against filtration and lobbying...

Well, regardless, I got THIS email back from Disney.

Score~~~ My letter got through.

DRAG ME DOWN. If you dare.

To show what I've actually accomplished in the 3 months that I've been "pretty busy", I have a short documentary for you guys. No, I haven't been dicking around or been having too much sex or spending every waking moment being mushy and lovey-dovey. I've been doing "work" and taking "classes".

This is what I call -- Drag Me Down.

I know, I know, the title sounds SUPER negative, but I think it's empowering. I feel it's a "What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" effect. Drag me down, but I get back up. Na mean? Also, "drag" as in "dress"... "Dress me down". Drag me down.

Okay, maybe it only makes sense to me.

here it is!

Well, lemme know what you think about, be completely honest, that's the only way we can grow~~ :D

Okay, this doc only took like 2 weeks to complete... so WHAT have I been doing for the rest of 2.5 months that I've been hibernating? Maybe you guys were right about me dicking around, having too much sex, and being mushy. :P

Black Swan, Grey Goose.

BlaahhhH! Can you believe it? Another blog post about a movie that only some people watched, and less people liked!

Of course, this is the Intranet.

Holy shit, read up on Black Swan since like August. I was all up in her shit. As soon as I heard about it on afterellen.com (most visited next to Facebook and Twitter on my browser), I was too excited to see this movie. Why? Because Natalie Portman in The Other Boylen Girl was bitchy and I like bitchy.

Two girls that make my pants feel funny.

Natalie Portman was also in V for Vendetta! A heavily motif-ed movie about government. I love politics.

Mmm... Bald... So little girls can pull it off

Regardless of how annoying and whiney and creepy Evey is in V for Vendetta, the rest of the movie was fantastic! The story about the lesbian in the post-totalitarian UK was important, but felt out of place. I thought that turn in the movie was meaningful, but done wrong. Also goes back to how "lesbians are murdered off in Hollywood, because the rest of the world should feel sorry about them" theme. Whatever.

Well, I wish I was good enough at programming that I can write a button on this page to lead you (reader) to the reading of Black Swan that you want to read about. I got the feminist manifesto (i.e. the straight world of Hollywood hates Lesbians and wish we would die) and the fun version (where I'm optimistic and tell you about all the things I liked and disliked about this movie).

You're getting both. Close your eyes and scroll allllll the way down if you want to ignore the feminist manifesto part. (As part of my degree requires, I have to be a dick (pun) to all directors in Hollywood regarding lesbian storylines).

Okay! So here it goes... Manifesto!

I'll try to leak the least I can.

Mainstream Hollywood hates all Lesbians! We should all die! Nina (Nat. Port. [Yes, I'm that lazy]) dances in a ballet company in New York. She wants to be perfect. Of course, no ballerina is satisfied with being "mediocre". I mean, it's like a kid writing on their 3rd grade essay, "When I grow up, I want to be an amateur athlete." NO! We want to be Pro-Olympic-quality Athletes!

So there's an opening for the new Swan Queen because Beth (Wino. Ryd. [you figure it out yourself]) has been asked to step down as the Dancing Queen. Oh, of course it's not that simple, there's also a new chick. From San Diego. Hot. How hot? Hot as Meg from Family Guy.

No kidding! That hot!

Yeah, but it's kinda not Meg, it's Lily, played by Mil. Kuni. [Insert Dramatic Music]

So shit goes down, and there's a shit show. Typically what happens when women are at each other's throats.

Hollywood hates lesbians because any woman-on-woman action is concluded with death, betrayal, insanity, or all of the above. Guess which one Black Swan is?

Okay, this ends my manifesto. YOU CAN START READING NOW!

So I don't want to give much of the story away, but something I'd like to address: Nina and her mom's relationship.

When I was told that "nothing is an accident" in movies in my T206 class? I scoffed. Then after, every single movie I watched, there was a motif for something else in the movie. It was just a coin-key-dink. Whatevs.

***~~SPOILER ALERT~~***

So the director and writer wrote this movie so blatantly that Nina's (I'd say 22 years old?) room is a princess fairy-tale-land, living in her mom's apartment. As a fail ballerina, her mom wanted Nina to be mediocre like she was. (The mom was knocked up and quit dancing because I guess somehow pregger ballerinas are frowned upon :() My, my, I wonder if I can use cruder language to describe such high-brow art. Nope.

When Nina's mother not wake Nina up for her big day because Nina flipped shit on her mom the night before? Mom actually just didn't want Nina to be something she couldn't have. Mom can't stand Nina to be out of her control and soar high.

You'll understand this once you watched the movie. So I LIED ABOUT SPOILER!

Let's move on to the sex between Nina and Lily! Yeah... ***~~SPOILER ALERT~~***

It didn't happen. Well, at least in real life. Nina tripped on, what I think is coke or X, and wanted to embody the Black Swan so so so so badly that she wanted to fuck "the Black Swan".

Not gonna lie though, SUPER hot scene. My goodness, that clip leaked on the 'net so I can just talk about it! The black bra and panties Lily wore which symbolized Black and the white undies and bra Nina wore? Duh. But seeing two gorgeous women on screen tearing each other apart... priceless.

My favorite quote from the movie, "You had a crazy lesbo-sex fantasy about me?! How was I!?"

You know, I'd be asking the same thing if Natalie Portman came up to me and told me she had a sex dream about me. Or any girl, for that matter. :P

Okay, so the actual review...

I thought it was fantastic! The movie was JUST dark enough that I didn't have to rip my hair out. And all the cast was veryyyy good at what they did, and the director did a killer job showcasing them (ahem, Inception). Though I thought Mila Kunis's character was casted wrong. No, no, no, fellow lesbians, don't pick up the pitchfork yet! She was suupper sexy and fitted the bill with the "bad girl look". Both men and women look for that quality in a woman, don't lie. But I feel like someone else could've just as well filled the role.

I thought about casting Keira Knightly as the Black Swan, but I feel like a lot of our interational (even domestic) viewers would get suuuuper confused because Keira and Nat look so similar!

Challenge of the week: Which one is Nat?

Keira with a tan. How about that for compromise?

Fucking shit, I can't find a pic.... :(

To wrap things up...

Black Swan was a delightful watch, I'd go out and by the DVDs just because Nat. is so phenomenal in it. It's very nicely done because sexuality is key in this movie, but Aronofsky didn't trash it up! Good job, buddy.

The sound was great, the score was beautifully written with Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake integrated. A familiar sound with a beautiful modern twist. Too bad it dropped out of Oscar nods because it's too... "un-original" bullshit.

Beware now, readers...

Check yourself of Swan bumps before you dance next time.

Sincerely,

Lisa

Yahoo! News Can "simulate fellatio"

So I like to get my news while sitting in class. Okay, I'm posting a blog while I should be learning about chemical digestion in organisms. So I'm not the best student.

Recently, I've been trying to get back in touch with the world. Maybe reading about someone else's misery will make my own life seem more minute and careless.

I love controversy. I love gossip. So I love celebrity news. Sometimes.

Today, 11/24/09, I am sitting here in Ruesink's L112 Biology lecture, I got distracted and went to Yahoo! News on the home page. I read a little something last night about Adam Lambert's "racy performance" and how it was censored for the west coast. I mean, I'm sure they'd censor the performance for the whole country, but it was live, so they can only prevent the west coast from his reign of terror.

See, generally, when I see censorship on TV, I'm extra curious what's going on behind there. I mean, it's like Playboy; people like it because it leaves something to the imagination. I've seen porn out there that's actually censored, and I guess some people like that. But like on The Office, where they actually censor for comedic effects, it's because they are using the ridiculousness as humor. There's things they can't show or say on TV, thus they abuse their position by censoring, and you laugh. More.

So some kid on the west coast is watching the AMAs, and is hoping one of these days he'll be on that stage, except without a drug problem (we would hope). Then Adam Lambert's part is up, and instead of watching another performer on stage, interpreting their music, he see a chunk of mosaic block on TV. If he haven't heard the news, he would be super curious what happened there. So, like any teen these days, hops onto his computer, googles or Yahoo! searches "Adam Lambert censored". Bam! Over a million search results come up, and more likely then not, 75% of those links involve actual fellatio or analingus. How he's tainted and his computer has 203948032 viruses. Thanks for fucking up everything.

Like Adam Lambert said, it is really crass to edit to someone's performance. Music is all about entertainment and expression. Isn't it? Like Lambert said, his music is not for everyone. His show is not for everyone. If people want to watch the AMAs, they would turn to that channel. If Adam Lambert is not what someone wants to see perform, change the channel. If you stumble upon a porn channel, you don't wanna watch it? Change the channel.

Performers are there to entertain. People can choose not to watch. It's that simple. It's simply insulting to censor someone's art. Georgia O'Keefe would be pissed if someone "censored" her paintings and actually make it look like a flower. If you don't want to go to her gallery, then don't.

My judgements towards Yahoo! News are the fact that they would post something like that on their homepage and word the headline as "Lambert on AMA fallout". His performance was not a "fallout", what they did with his show was. As a reader, you would be intrigued or sympathetic by the headline. But sympathy is not what he wants. He's out and he's proud. His show is not a fallout.

Another bone I want to pick with Yahoo! News ("other then the one in my pants" - from Juno) is that, when you click on Lambert's story, there's "related news" scattered through out article. As related news, you can see pictures of other "Gay and Lesbian Hollywood Stars". It's somewhat insulting that gays and lesbians are set aside as a slide show. It's demonstrating that we ("society") still see people based on sexual orientation. Would Hollywood even exist without the plethora of overzealous gay people?

Absolutely not.

If there was a slide show called "Black People of Hollywood", it would simply derogatory. But sadly I would see Yahoo! News posting something like that. How about "White People of Hollywood"? It would just seems redundant. How about "Jews of Hollywood"? "Scientology of Hollywood"?

Exposure? Yes.

Blatant discrimination? Yes.

I mean, what is Yahoo! trying to say? Check out all these faggots and dykes in Hollywood. Look out. Or is it more of a "let's celebrate these people who make this place possible"?

Your decision. Let me know what you think.

Dyke, Dyke, Dyke, Dyke... FAGGOT!

I'm taking precious study time out to write a blog. Not really. Just procrastinating, of all things.

So today, I sat in on a lecture of my Amy's. (MY AMY ;)) This lecture was taught by Dr. Susan Stryker, my Gender Studies professor, whom I have great respect for, in the sense that she is very knowledgeable and highly intelligent. She seems to be a very easy-going person whilst making an impact in our LGBT community. If I got to know her, on a personal level, I might actually make her a personal hero of mine, but I haven't gotten to that level yet.

So back to sitting in lecture.

I was there to kill some time, also to learn about "Gender Identity and the Body". Well, I noticed a dramatic difference when she's in this 100-level class lecture, and also in my 200-level class discussion and lecture. She feels pretty comfortable to talk about many things in either classes, but there is far less discussion from the audience in this 100-level lecture. Though I understand the impersonality of a grand lecture hall, it seems these students aren't as willing to participate as well.

As I was exiting the classroom, I was walking in front of some girl. She was seemingly annoyed by the Professor, as she was making ignorant comments such as "Oh, she's a transgender and she has a partner..." I was quite offended by her statement, and just announced, "Well, why don't you just drop the class then, if you're not feeling comfortable in it." It wasn't directed at anyone, necessarily, but it was quite obvious why I said that. So she began to recover by saying, "Well, I guess if she used to be a man, then it works for her."

Pssht. Noob freshmen. Or maybe just hos in general. As a sophomore, I came back to much familiarity, but also more ignorance. In my Chemistry lecture, this girl was making annoyance comments regarding the material she was being taught. There were 200 people in that lecture hall who were there to learn. Honestly, of the 200, not many people are gonna eat that stuff up like candy, including myself. But we're all there for a reason, to fulfill our requirement, or to advance our understanding of the microscopic world. If you dont' like what is being presented to you, there is no knife at your neck. Please exit, there are people who are trying to get into this class. Thank you.

Back to Professor Stryker.

I think it's very impressive of her that she's out and comfortable with her sexuality like she is. There are many straight people out there who aren't as comfortable with themselves. Being gay or transgendered is ostracized by our narrow society, but instead of hiding the shadows of this marginalizing world, she's here to make a difference. She's here and she's queer.

I, Lisa Yang, personally don't quite think my orientation matters as much to my life as my person as a whole. I don't care about making everyone I encounter aware of my status as a lesbian, but rather, I care to let them know that I'm a passionate person who will get the job done right.

I'm not sure about Professor Stryker's starting point regarding her "outness", but she's only hoping to better this world.

So here, my kudos to you, Professor Stryker.

Batman's SuperPower

People have problems with Batman. Some say he's not a real superhero. Some say he's the real super super hero because he doesn't have any "super powers".

But No. I would like to disagree. I believe Batman as superpowers, thus, he is a superhero.

Superman has superhuman strength, ability to fly, and bullet proof.

Flash has super human speed.

Aquaman is fish.

Spiderman has spider DNA interfused into his human DNA.

All the different X-Men are mutants.

Wonderwoman hates men.

Welp. Batman has super powers. His super power is his superhuman ability to make money. He is a baller, which helps him buy all his gadgets and machines. Without money, he cannot make a titanium-bat blood-infused pimp ride.

By that logic, Bill Gates also has superhuman powers.

Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star 運財至叻星

Many people probably haven't even heard of this movie before. And I don't blame them. Many people probably have seen this movie like 34543 million times because it comes up on their TVB programming 34543 million times, every Chinese New Years. And people probably just watch it in the background as they feast with their families or play mahjong or eat dumplings. I've seen it 34543 million times times 4. I just bought it on DVD last summer before I went off to college. 

Currently in my DVD player: Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Zak and Miri 

(Yeah, I have a multi-disc DVD player, be jealous! Actually no, I don't, I'm not a baller, I just have 3 DVD players. ><)

Currently on my blog list: Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Finale, Saw Series, Relationship and Age and 17 Again

(correction: I WILL NOT do a schpeal about that Zac Effron movie, though I love love love Matthew Perry. I might just post a blog about how stupid the movie seems and I'd never watch it, but I WILL NEVER DO A REVIEW!!)

I LOVE Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star! It's completely retarded, but it was very cleverly written with joke after joke after joke! It's the epitome of classic HK comedy. They just don't make movies like they used to.. ><

Starring 陳百祥，袁靑見靑見 (Sorry, I can't find the character for her name in my version of chinese input ><), 鐘麗緹，Michael Wong, and many many famous guest cameo stars. My favorite is probably 吳鎮宇, his role as the main antagonist on Earth. Freaking hilarious. 

I think it's a really simplistic movie with a few simplistic cutesy themes, and that's enough to sell me.

TTLS is about a windfall god that came down to Earth because his "lover" (just another hot chick he has the hots for) has been banished to Earth because she was dating another "god". Who happens to be an angel, an envoy sent to Chinese Heaven by Jesus. St. Michael. haha So he just picked up his ass and left his cushy job as a god, with magic and longevity and fans to risk losing his job forever and being a mortal (oh no!) FOR A GIRL!? Who does that shit?! Well, I didn't graduate high school early for a girl. Or did I? I don't remember, little 5 happened. ;D

Turns out either Superman can fly into the heavens, or he's a god. I'd prefer the former, he's a bad ass, but doesn't have the creds to be wandering around with Choi Sun, Yuk Wong Dai Dei, Yi Long Sun, Sou Xing Gong and the like. 

Okay, so since this is a LGBT (remember kids, L comes first!) blog, I might as well interject some LGBT shit into this movie. hehe. 

So Nak (the windfall god) is on Earth, and he has to get his goddess, who's now a regular human (but was a porn star), Christie, to say those three magical words that every person fear ("abra cada bra!" or "mali mali hom!") so he can take her back to heaven with him.  

(„noʎ ǝʌoן ı„ : ʎןןɐnʇɔɐ sı ɹǝʍsuɐ ʇɔǝɹɹoɔ ǝɥʇ)

Of course she's gonna be a ho about it. But it's not her fault, Nak never explained the premise of the deal about being a goddess and the power and the longevity and fans and shit of the like. If he did, shit, I'd take it runaway from Earth and my 全城最受歡迎男歌手：城城 (City's most popular male singer: Xeng Xeng) boyfriend. I can pick up all the other hot goddess chicks and have hot goddess sex all of eternity. ;D

Well, so Matchmaker God, Yuet Lo, gave Nak a pill that one would eat and fall deeply in love with Nak. Guess who didn't eat the pill? Guess who did? Yup, Xeng Xeng did. 

So we have a gay boy in this movie now. We have a potential gay-lationship ready to blossom! Yeah, but Nak is too much in love with Christie. Or whatever. 

There's this very funny scene where Christie asks Xeng if he wants Nak or her. Those hos, don't know you how to share? Geez. Well, he wants Nak so Christie leaves. Wait, he wants Christie. Xeng wants both!! Oh no! What should he do!? "How about you leave? That'll make things uncomplicated," Nak interjects during a supposed "private" conversation. 

Well, Xeng doesn't leave. He stays. It's such a typical HK movie where the main characters are the only ones with remotely good acting skillz and everyone else is reading dialogue. Christie was probably only employed for this movie because she's a sexy beast. Michael actually did a pretty convincing job as a gay boy who's in love with Nak. Beautiful (who's original name was Liza, when she was dating Cup Noodle [羅家英]) was seriously an okay actress, her expressions were over exaggerated, but that's what this movie sought. Also, there are so many little puns in this movie that you'd only understand if you are a die-hard TVB fan. (in which I have the membership card for ;D)

But this gay relationship wasn't criticized or denounced. It was simply an easy way to poke at Michael Wong. So it was laugh track. At least there's exposure. But it was done in a crude way in which it stereotyped gay men as feminine and clingy. At least there's exposure. 

It was an adequate storyline though. It would have been just a funny if it was some random ugly chick (如花）that ate the pill (typically that's how the movies run). But they didn't want to use too many actors or actresses, they already spent a shitton on the cameos! So it was Mikey that was the lover. 

And if you watched realllllllllllllly carefully, at the end scene when (blank) won the Gambling King contest, Xeng hugged Mr. Wu (out of happiness or saddness? Watch it to find out!) and gave him a peck on the cheek, Mr. Wu checked Xeng out. It was super funny and super cute. He deserves to be an Oscar-equivalent winner. hehehe.  

Okay, gay enough for you?

Well, so other theme in this movie is about finding love in the most unexpected places. If I say anymore, it's gonna be spoiled. SO... SPOILER ALERT! Don't scroll down if you wanna see this classic badass yourself!!

I warned you.

Okay?

So of course Nak ends up with Beautiful. She was just his "guiding light" to find Christie at first, but more developed. Of course. Clliiicchheee. 

But while you're so desperately looking for the girl that you find the most attractive, you happen to neglect the people around you. You shouldn't do that! It's programmed into our DNA to "value sex and devalue friends", but when shit happens, who are you gonna be crawling to in the middle of the night? 

And turns out, this friend of Nak's happened to be the girl of his dreams! Yey for happy ending! But even then, Christie is held hostage by Mr. Wu (loosely translate: pretty kwen), Nak still holds up his end of the task to save a girl that hated him, despised him, wanted nothing to do with him. It's life. There's always gonna be those dudes out there, why bother? let them live their life, and you happily with yours. 

This is a really funny ass movie with cutesy little jokes everywhere. I can probably quote half this movie... Please check it out, let me know if I'm retarded or not (more like YES.) 

Nak got a group of cops to dance with him (What's good to eat about a Driver's license? If you wanna eat, you should eat an ID!)