Boys who Don't Look Like Boys: To 5 Androgynous Men Who Won Over Many (too many) Asian Girls

My last post from eons ago regarding Girls Who Don't Look Like Girls had a pretty good response, and I promised a post regard Dudes who look like chicks, and here it is.

The same story: these guys are very cute and attractive, have millions of little girl fans everywhere swooning over them. Amazing ass hair and being scrawny ass and tall are their trademarks. So another sociological phenomenon: why do Asian girls love them?

I think this world is constantly searching for an equilibrium. When you open a can of pop, you hear the Tssk, and all the carbon dioxide in that can escapes to equalize with the air around it. Because the air we breathe has a much small concentration of carbon dioxide is in the can.

People are equilibrating. Instead of finding a man like the one on the Brawny paper towels, we float towards someone like Mr. Clean. Brawny man is all beard, lives in the woods, and chops trees. Mr. Clean has some sort of mystique about him that his shiny head is not telling us. He's "built" like the "brawny" men, but that earring and that look in his eyes say otherwise. In his hourglass shaped body, almost, to me, seems like, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, and moms".

Am I insinuating that Mr. Clean is paired with Mr. Really Clean? I'm not bold enough to put my foot down.

Essentially, we're looking for an equilibrium. To indulge in the "gayness" in everyone, these Asian girls choose to fan someone who isn't the classic "Brawny man" and still fit into the social norms of "being straight".

Because of how our social system is set up, either originates from the bible of the West, or what westernization has done to the East, the social normative is a man and a woman = couple. When that norm is taken down, or non-exposed to someone, he or she decides who to feel an attraction for. There is no such thing as a clean slate. As soon as a child is born, he or she is given a name. That name connotes more than just a label, identity, or gender. For example, sorry if any one out there with this name, but I'm just pulling this out of my ass. The name Joanne Rodriguez: What do assumptions do you immediately made?

Personally, I would gather that she is a female, potentially of hispanic or latino descent. The name Joanne is not a very "latino name", per se. So I would make assumptions regarding that her parents don't necessarily live in any latino countries. But I can be completely wrong.

Assume. Make and ass out of U and Me. Stereotypes are bad. Yes. But without stereotypes, how can we understand anything in this world? When you are stopped at a traffic light, you see a red light, and you learned it means stop. And the green means go. You learned it. Congratulations. If you didn't, please don't drive when I'm on the road, I'll post my driving schedule later.

So else where, you see the two colors again, instructing you to do something. Anything. And you see red. Stereotypically, you would assume that you should stop.

You're watching a movie. A person is killing people. Or the guy the story most is about. You make assumptions that the killer is the antagonist in this movie. Because stereotypically, that's what antagonists do.

I'm saying stereotyping is bad. But like every skill in life, know when to start or stop the use of it.

I ramble wayyyy too much. I need to get back on topic.

So, at equilibrium, we get these dudes that basically look like girls. Excuse me that my media circle is not very large, so I'll just resort to men of Taiwan's cinema. If you have other suggestions of men who look like girls, feel free to throw them at me. Except... don't actually "throw" them at me, I have a girlfriend. :)

5. Mike He 賀軍翔 -- He's really popular in Asian. That's all I can say about him, I don't really pay much attention to these pretty boys (sorry!). But I guess he's less "girly" than these other guys, but he's still very pretty. I mean his bone structure is more masculine, but still. Very pretty. Too pretty.

4. 唐禹哲 -- This dude is very pretty. I wouldn't say he particularly look a lot like a chick, but... he looks like a rice queen. Okay, he really doesn't, but I'm personally biased towards him because of my woman think he's so hot and shit. If she's dating me, and thinks he's hot... how manly can he be?

3. 汪東城 -- Seriously? I've seen girls who are wayyy more manly than him. In this pic, he kinda looks like Denise Ho. Except prettier. He's in a boy "band" (they don't play anything but with each other's hairs) called Fahrenheit and is the "brother band" of my fave, S.H.E. except they just look pretty.

2. 林志穎 -- He's been around for so long... *sigh* I remember watching him on TV when I was 5. And now he still looks like this means he was even more fem back in the days. He's so pretty. Like there's an actor dude out there that once said if he was a girl, he would so jump on Lin. Because... he looks like a girl. If he tells me he's straight, I'll tell you I like cock. (sorry for the vulgarity)

1. 吳尊 -- The first time I saw him, I thought he was the prettiest guy ever. My heart skipped a beat. He's so so so so so cute! But also means he look super much like a girl. His features are just so delicate. This may not be the best picture, but seriously. Very. fem.

The list above is just my personal opinion, I realize there are a lot of fans (including my girlfriend) of those celebrities, and please don't take offense. I've seen even more girlier boys, but never had the chance to catch their names. Not that I really care, for that matter. But just think about how what does this trend of loving girly men means for Asian girls.

You Might Be a Lesbian If...

Alright, blogosphere, I know there's many many many many lists out there that says "You Might Be a Lesbian If...", but this one, I'm gonna tell you now, is not much more accurate, just more of a fun read. ;)

Enjoy.

• This is absolutely cliche; but if you're reading this post, you're more likely that you're questioning yourself. And if you're even questioning yourself, then you're probably a lesbian. Or at least bi, stop kidding yourself. ;) I'm sure Econ or Pysch or English is INCREDIBLY interesting, but I'm sure that's not the reason why you can't take your eyes off your teacher/professor.
• Lesbians have incredible strength. I'm not even kidding, almost every one I know can pick up a cinderblock and drop it on her own toes. Like my little cousin, I know it's not saying much, but she can probably out arm-wrestle any emo boy. C'mon girls, it takes a lot of throw a softball. That's just such a bad stereotype! My lovable roommate constantly reminds me that it's so not true, but those butch girls are so cute! Also, us lesbians are also the lazier of the bunch, we like to carry in all our groceries in one run, which also develops our biceps to mutant status.
• If your index finger is shorter than your ring finger, you're a lesbian.

Above: Lesbian hand

I honestly still holds that 80% true to heart. All the "straight" girls I've met had longer index fingers, all bi girls I've met had completely even lengthed ring fingers. But I've also met about 5-6 straight girls with longer ring fingers. So, 80%. But if you're left handed, this theory is nullified.

There is actual scientific proof that sustains this theory, actually. According some college some where, when in the uterus, the fetus that receives larger amounts of testosterone develops the ring finger more, thus making it longer. More testosterone means more masculinity, which one may include attraction to females.

I don't know. I guess it's not a theory, since it's not a proven fact... it's a decent hypothesis at most. Take it with a grain of salt. The only real way to determine a woman's orientation by her fingers is if they are inside of you. Sorry for the vulgarity, but it's so true. (credits to a certain aE reader ;))

• Heard this on the L Word: When you were a child, did you prefer a monkey or a horse as a pet? If you answered monkey, our team is more suited for your liking. But I also know a gal who happens to be a big fan of horses, but she is a bigger fan of girls (or so she tells us). There's always exceptions to every one of these little lesbians markers, but we've been speculating the validity of her work visa to play for our team for a while now... Hmm...
• Finger nails. So I was talking a good friend of mine from high school, and somehow we got to the topic of... ob/gyn. And something about some acrylic nails and 33 stitches and 2 lesbians. Put that together yourself, I'm not suggesting anything. But yeah, so lesbians must have short nails. Which is understandable.

So this random hour, on this random day, my roommate (yes, JUST roommate) and I decided, we need to educate ourselves, because the $8000000000 we pay in tuition isn't doing us much of any favor. We went out and got a Hustler. Yes. Porno mag. Love it. And in the centerfold, we found: Bleached blonde chick, silicon boobs with a Grande Canyon between them, and acrylic nails. Guess where those acrylic nails went? 33 stitches.

Hypothesis 1: Those lesbians were ruff-riders

Hypothesis 2: The girl in the magazine is just posing, and not... much... action?

Regardless, it's always been a classic sign to tell if this hottie is swinger her bat for your team if her nails are short.

• Lesbians are good with computers. Personally, I don't wanna brag, but I know my way around a computer quite nicely, as I know words like: USB, SD Card, Memory Stick (Pro Duo), DDR (nope, not the arcade game), RAM, Flash (not the kind at Mardi Gras), PC, Mac and the like. Like even numbskull Jenny from the L word apparently knows how to jailbreak an iPhone so she can use it as a video camera! Tina knew enough to cyber with a dude, Alice knows how to upload podcasts, and Max/Moira works at a computer place! Nuff said? Hot cast beats bad writing anyday.

I know this is quite short, but I lost my notes for this post... let me know if I left anything major out ;)

peace out!

p.s. Remember! great piece of salt when reading ANY of my posts. ;)

Girls who don't look like girls: Top 5 Androgynous girls

I'm not gonna lie, I have a secret fetish for androgynous women. Well, apparently so does the rest of Asia. But I'm not bi or straight. Like, when I make a statement like that, people would usually comment like, "Oh, so you like girls who look like boys. Is that the secret straight girl in you?" Well, to that comment, there's a little straight girl in every lesbian. And there's a little gay girl in every straight girl. ;D 

I must clarify, I don't like... "butch". I don't like girls who is in the wifebeater and baggy jeans. I don't like the dyke cut or mullet. I guess when I think of "butch", I think of thicker girls and more masculine. 

(Disclaimer: totally all MY opinion) 

I, personally, like scrawny girls with awesome hair that aren't always in dresses and face caked with make up. (如果你卸了裝我不認得你的話，那不叫做化裝，那叫喬裝) "If you take off your make up and I can't recognize you, that's not called make up, it's called disguise" - Dayo Wang. I swear it sounds a lot better in Chinese, the original language the joke was told in. ;D

Not gonna lie, I was pretty reluctant to admit that I am extremely attracted to these girls, because what would that say about my gayity!? Okay, I'm still reluctant to admit that I find some "butch" girls are hot too, probably for the same reason. I'll let you guys know when I do find one attractive. I've got nothing to hide. 

Most of these androgynous but not butchy girls are Asian, I apologize, because I can't really think of any white ones that really fits "my taste". But I'm not the only one who are fans of them, the little Asian girls in China and Taiwan like them too... what does that say about the Asian population? They're a little... ggehy? ;)

Well, here is a sampling, the top 5 girls I believe are gorgeous in their androgyny. 

5. Ella from S.H.E. 

(Far left, duh)

She's more masculine than the other two of the group, and she's definitely considered "gender-neutral". I don't know if Ella was packaged by their record label to be the more tomboyish or what, but she pulls it off every well. Ella is often the lone one out of the group not wearing a dress or mini-skirt.When I first encountered S.H.E., I was extremely critical of their group, without even listening to their music first. I wasn't secure with my sexuality, thus I wasn't secure with Ella's. Ella's deeper, huskier voice raised rumors regarding her sex back in the days (even today, still).  But I've grown to love her lots, I think she's really real and hilarious. She's also the number one rapper in Taiwan too. Well, not officially, but she does a lot of rap for the group. 

4. Zhao Yi Lan (Star from Drifting Flowers) 

(Far right, this time)

Before watching Drifting Flowers, I would think Yi Lan's okay, but after, she's super cute! In the movie, you see multiple angles of her, with some "age" added to her make up, she definitely looks good. Yi Lan's tall and lanky, but with a childish face and smile, STOLE MY HEART. She's more masculine than Ella, but Yi Lan is just cute and kinda charming. 

3. Chris Li (Winner of 2005 China's Pop Idol) 

Chris Li won, I would say the first "election" in China. Very similarly to American Idol, viewers would text or call in their votes to their favorite girls on TV to determine the winner of the singing contest. She is very pretty. Besides Ella, Chris is probably the first androgynous girl on Asian media that I'm aware of. (Don't quote me!) Chris is like the hot version of William Hung. She can actually sing a little better than him (hopefully), but has the positive attitude of "doing her best". I've heard she's an incredible dancer, too. But yeah, Chris is tall and beautiful, with some pretty nice breasticular region as well. I used to be kinda repelled by her, until my cousin sent me some pics of her being SUPER cute. ;D

2. Zhang Yun Jing (Winner of Taiwan's singing show of some sort) 

If you ever heard Yun Jing sing, you're definitely gonna be swooning all over the place. Above, she looks SUPER cute in her Jay Chou-like suit-thing. I LOVE her hair. Yun Jing is shorter (than Yi Lan and Chris), and kinda is quiet and chilled-out, kinda like a archaeological dig, get her to open up and find out more about her. One a variety show once, she was seen wearing a yellow knitted sweater and large tv-frame glasses with black rims. (drools a little) Yun Jing was once interviewed before a song, and she cried on stage about her ex (bf/gf?) of 3 years, and she wanted to dedicate Jay Chou's Black Humor to her/him. Super sensitive, super cute. I think Yun Jing is more softer-butch, if I even wanna use that term, than Yi Lan. The girl just seems really down to earth. In the following video, her voice is a lot more feminine than her speaking voice... (drools again)

                          

1. The number one spot... belongs to... 

Katherine Moennig. 

I know, I know, she's the only white one. I'm sorry! But I think Kate is super sexy. I know, I'm one of those girls who swoon at Kate's skinny-ass ass, and husky voice and super hot hair, and soulful eyes, and... yeah. I guess the difference between the other girls and Shane Kate is that she's sexy. And I have a relationship with her, as I made it through six years of The L Word-ness. I feel bad, I really am "one of those girls". Like I think Kate is super hot and she seems really sweet and tries really hard to give every one of us fans a good performance on the screen. 

Well, congratulations, Kate Moennig, for being the sexiest of the sexy androgynies. ;) Like she haven't topped this kinda list all over the net. (I wish I can tell her how sexy is she in person. But I guess it wouldn't just be that, I'd have to roofie her, then I'd be arrested because I don't cover my tracks well enough. Then I'd have to sit my ass in jail, but who's gonna have the bragging rights to have shagged Shane Kate Moennig? Yup. Me.)