Sunday, December 19, 2010

Lesbian (Sub)Culture

So I'm super intrigued by culture. I love to teach and learn about different cultures and how people live their lives. Most cultures are born out of necessity and separated by geography. But I've recently been noticing a culture that is separated by geography, born of necessity, but all are of the same premise. Confusing? Yeah, I know, but let me try to explain myself. I will be using bullet points because that makes me sound more asshole-y and less stupid.

  • Lesbian Culture is born out of necessity. Even though every member of the Lesbian community look different, smell different, and have no seemingly linear connection, they have on thing in common: Isolation. I'm not going to speak for all, but me personally, when I was a young confused little Midwest Asian girl growing up in the midwest (duh), I didn't have role models to look up to. I didn't have other gay ladies around me to help me feel included. Thank god for all the teen girl-on-girl-action flicks like But I'm a Cheerleader, D.E.B.S, Imagine Me and You, and most importantly, The L Word.
    Aside from these "role models," I swore to myself that there isn't another lesbian out there other then myself. Let alone anyone who would be interested in me. I wasn't the cutest little lesbian on the market.

Hi, 14 y/o Lisa Yang. Thanks.

When I went off to college, (god, I wish I had a pic to show everyone, but I'm sure you can find one on my Facebook easily) I had the hopes and aspiration that I will show up, and ladies would line up at my doorstep (Well, again, Facebook pics...). Except, may nights spent in my dorm room without a girl in my arms and wondering where are the cute lesbian (geez, at least curious) girls were.
  • This sort of lesbian culture is born out of necessity because one party or more feels like the girl she's with right now is gonna be the only girl EVER for her. Like she's waited too long for a gay girl to come along that the next one may be another ten years down the line.
  • It's very interesting because gay girls from different backgrounds all had or have had this phenomenon. It's a connecting factor in the Lesbian community.
I'm sure many lesbians out there were/are like me, looking for THE girl. Sometimes, the first girl you're with... you can't get rid of. Either because there's a sort of weird connection that even though she's a complete bitch; you can't seem to get yourself to get rid of her. I've heard of extremely long-distance relationships that only made sense to the people in it. And so frequently one party has to give up a lot to even maintain this relationship.

Heterosexual relationships are not as... "desperate" because the next guy you see can be "the" guy. Just as much as the guy you're currently with is.

I once had a conversation with a straight guy once about how, "Any one can be your 'one', because you have to be willing to be the right person for her." I completely agree. I can make any girl fall in love with me. I'm not being arrogant. If I want this relationship to work out, I can be sacrifice anything to make her happy. Granted, I may not be happy; but at least she's in love with me! :D

I find it kinda depressing that girls can't just think for themselves sometimes and see that there are plenty of good fish out there, without going overseas... or sacrificing themselves.

Welps, who am I to talk? I hope everyone have a great holidays and great winter break... I'll try to post more.

1 comments:

  1. omg - i'm like the only person commenting and you're gonna think i'm some kind of weird-ass stalker girl... well, you probably already think that, so i guess it doesn't matter. hehe

    what you wrote makes sense. i think most of us tend to grip our relationships just a bit more tightly. well, i do. it just seems so special when love develops where you always thought it had little chance of growing. that may sound a tiny bit sad, but i think it also makes our relationships deeper and sweeter than they might be without so much uncertainty. my girlfriend and i have been together over 10 years, and we cling to each other with more fear and passion than ever.

    oh and... D.E.B.S., But I'm a Cheerleader, etc., so rock. i just gotta add Show Me Love (the swedish movie) - sweeet.

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