Saturday, July 11, 2009

You Might Be a Lesbian If...

Alright, blogosphere, I know there's many many many many lists out there that says "You Might Be a Lesbian If...", but this one, I'm gonna tell you now, is not much more accurate, just more of a fun read. ;)


  • This is absolutely cliche; but if you're reading this post, you're more likely that you're questioning yourself. And if you're even questioning yourself, then you're probably a lesbian. Or at least bi, stop kidding yourself. ;) I'm sure Econ or Pysch or English is INCREDIBLY interesting, but I'm sure that's not the reason why you can't take your eyes off your teacher/professor.
  • Lesbians have incredible strength. I'm not even kidding, almost every one I know can pick up a cinderblock and drop it on her own toes. Like my little cousin, I know it's not saying much, but she can probably out arm-wrestle any emo boy. C'mon girls, it takes a lot of throw a softball. That's just such a bad stereotype! My lovable roommate constantly reminds me that it's so not true, but those butch girls are so cute! Also, us lesbians are also the lazier of the bunch, we like to carry in all our groceries in one run, which also develops our biceps to mutant status.
  • If your index finger is shorter than your ring finger, you're a lesbian.
Above: Lesbian hand

I honestly still holds that 80% true to heart. All the "straight" girls I've met had longer index fingers, all bi girls I've met had completely even lengthed ring fingers. But I've also met about 5-6 straight girls with longer ring fingers. So, 80%. But if you're left handed, this theory is nullified.

There is actual scientific proof that sustains this theory, actually. According some college some where, when in the uterus, the fetus that receives larger amounts of testosterone develops the ring finger more, thus making it longer. More testosterone means more masculinity, which one may include attraction to females.

I don't know. I guess it's not a theory, since it's not a proven fact... it's a decent hypothesis at most. Take it with a grain of salt. The only real way to determine a woman's orientation by her fingers is if they are inside of you. Sorry for the vulgarity, but it's so true. (credits to a certain aE reader ;))

  • Heard this on the L Word: When you were a child, did you prefer a monkey or a horse as a pet? If you answered monkey, our team is more suited for your liking. But I also know a gal who happens to be a big fan of horses, but she is a bigger fan of girls (or so she tells us). There's always exceptions to every one of these little lesbians markers, but we've been speculating the validity of her work visa to play for our team for a while now... Hmm...
  • Finger nails. So I was talking a good friend of mine from high school, and somehow we got to the topic of... ob/gyn. And something about some acrylic nails and 33 stitches and 2 lesbians. Put that together yourself, I'm not suggesting anything. But yeah, so lesbians must have short nails. Which is understandable.
So this random hour, on this random day, my roommate (yes, JUST roommate) and I decided, we need to educate ourselves, because the $8000000000 we pay in tuition isn't doing us much of any favor. We went out and got a Hustler. Yes. Porno mag. Love it. And in the centerfold, we found: Bleached blonde chick, silicon boobs with a Grande Canyon between them, and acrylic nails. Guess where those acrylic nails went? 33 stitches.

Hypothesis 1: Those lesbians were ruff-riders
Hypothesis 2: The girl in the magazine is just posing, and not... much... action?
Regardless, it's always been a classic sign to tell if this hottie is swinger her bat for your team if her nails are short.

  • Lesbians are good with computers. Personally, I don't wanna brag, but I know my way around a computer quite nicely, as I know words like: USB, SD Card, Memory Stick (Pro Duo), DDR (nope, not the arcade game), RAM, Flash (not the kind at Mardi Gras), PC, Mac and the like. Like even numbskull Jenny from the L word apparently knows how to jailbreak an iPhone so she can use it as a video camera! Tina knew enough to cyber with a dude, Alice knows how to upload podcasts, and Max/Moira works at a computer place! Nuff said? Hot cast beats bad writing anyday.

I know this is quite short, but I lost my notes for this post... let me know if I left anything major out ;)

peace out!

p.s. Remember! great piece of salt when reading ANY of my posts. ;)


  1. My ring finger is longer than my index finger by 1 cm, but that doesn't mean anything yet. Not until I go get some more proofs. And I'll keep in my your 80%.

    What's not interesting about Econ? Demand and Supply. Very sexy, me think.

    You know, you still owe me some major blog posts!! I kid.. I kid.. But you truly puzzled me. You are not in school and you are not working, no? Then why the heck can't you update your blog more often??? What do you do everyday anyways? Omg.. I sound so demanding, but I didn't mean to. I'm just a bit off today. Please don't un-friend me. =P

  2. I actually do work... What gave you the idea that I don't have class or a job? lol I spent 10 hours a day a work, come home, shower, relax, go to bed. rinse and repeat. >< Notice how on the previous few posts it says that "I'm posting on my day off?" It's pretty lame, but tuition has to get paid somehow.

  3. Hey hey!! Did I get you all worked up with that ignorant comment of mine? I thought I should give it a try and see if you'll respond. =P It worked.

    Actually, I thought that you were on your summer break, so no school. I didn't know that you work. I'm sorry. I sincerely apologize. =D Forgive me?

  4. True about the lazy bits. I always offer to carry all the groceries for my mom even when she insisted to return for it, and sometimes that include a 5kg pack of rice lol.

  5. That's SO true what you wrote: "The only real way to determine a woman's orientation by her fingers is if they are inside of you." omg. and it's funny, also. :D And, ya - I have lesbian hands, too. Yay!

    I'm really enjoying your blog and what you have to say. THX :] - Jaemie

  6. Thanks for everyone's support and love! Please follow me if you enjoy this! I'm working on updating more frequently with good material!! ;)