Monday, June 22, 2009

Wait! Wait! Attention Please!

Due to technical difficulties, (and slight laziness), the liveblog is not going on as planned. >< I sincerely apologize, but I'll get everything back up and pictures uploaded ASAP. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Heads up! 7 up!

Just letting you readers out there know... (I know there's like 3 of you, but still) 

This coming weekend, this blogger will be in NYC, and from there, there will be a live-blog for the events that occur. And by live blog I mean I'm gonna update all the occurrences that day, with photos, instead of when I come back, get off my lazy ass and then blog. I'm gonna let all you know what happens in my extremely personal life. muhahahaha. heh. I know you guys don't care, but throw me a bone! I'll talk about the logistics of an Asian wedding, and how much I'm against it. Sound good?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Shot Down # 3232

Alright, so being in the relationship business, being shot down is like trying the grapes at the grocery. It looks really good, you go for it, then realize it's sour than most lemons. But at least you know not to buy it. ;)

So today, on my day off, I went to Charlotte Rouge. You know to pick up some sexy-wear for my trip to NYC this weekend. ;D As I entered the store, this girl comes up to me to offer me assistance, like any place that employs good employees. Which I usually don't get offered help there, because I'm so asian and everything. So this assistance-offering was awkward for me. But also very welcomed. I was first put off because someone even offered to help, but 3.34 seconds later, I also noticed how cute the girl was. ;) She was short, blonde, and über sweet. My fave. 

So, holding my niece, I wandered the store a little bit. And she came back around to offer me shoe sizes. Another personal phenomenon for me. So I was sold by this girl.

Alright, eyeing her for a little bit, I finally got up the courage and said this to her: "I'll trade you her (my niece Anna) for your phone number."

Then she gave me something I use myself frequently: The awkward, "I'm not interested" laugh.

Oooh... yikes. 

It's okay though, it's not me, it's her. ;) At least I tried the grape even at the risk of someone coming up to me, and saying "That's stealing!!"

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Saving Face: Don't mistake it for Private Ryan

I know this is wayyy overdue. I've just been an lazy ass, I'm so sorry! But here, today, on another wonderful mindless day off, I'm "reviewing" Saving Face. 

I know, there's so many topics on my to-do list, but I was watching an episode of "Retro Viewing" from afterellen, which can be found here, and I just LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie. 

Okay, I know I say that about ALL movies I blog about, but for realz, this is the shit. I've literally watched it 20830958 times. Not that I am counting. ha. 

Ahemmm! So here we go.

Here above is Wil, protagonist, Ma, and Jay (the dude) sitting around watching olllllddd ass Chinese dramas on tv that I don't think any of them understands. 

Wil, played by the gorgorgorgorgorgeous Michelle Krusiec is a surgeon. She's actually a lesbian. Bam! Bet you didn't see that one coming! Whhatt? She's Asian, and she's a surgeon (thanks Alice Wu [the director] for that stereotype reminder) there's no way she's a lesbian! She's waiting for her Asian prince charming on a white horse to arrive and sweep her off her feet! (Wait, that's every lesbian. You know, they just haven't met the "right guy") No. It's like that straightie ho haven't met the right girl to give her a woozy feeling inside every time she looks at her. And she's probably able to sweet the straightie ho off her feet too, you know how lesbians are incredible strong. (Which would make sense why I was always the one picked to arm wrestle dudes back in elementary school. ><  it all makes sense now...)

Okay, quick non-movie related interjection. This I don't understand: why do girls giggle?! I think I've might have made this comment before, but bear with me, I've been under the influence too many times for someone my size. ><

Like, hear me out! (this was deleted by blogspot, so I'm gonna have to reiterated as best as I can) I'm the kind of creeper that talks to everyone. Like whenever I'm buying something, waiting for something, I would strike up a conversation with someone to just create conversation. More likelier if she happens to be a really cute girl. ;) So I'm like paying for my Abercrombie, crack, pretzel, movie ticket, more crack, upper arm strengthening apparatus or like electronic device, I would always causally ask how the person was doing. And then also say something witty or whatever, just to make an impersonal transaction, more personal. And most of the time, I'm not even flirting. I'm just being the curious and chatty ol' me. But then the girl would GIGGLE! 

What's up with that?? 

I mean, I would understand if I was a cute hunky guy and eliciting these reactions, but rather, I'm like this short Asian chick who's honestly average. But they laugh at me! I understand some people laugh to fill awkward moments or something. (I mean, I do. But I always create the awkward moments, my skin is thicker than most leather jackets sitting on a motorcycle dyke.) Like I misinterpret that as flirting! And I always think that the lovely ladies want me, and I get their employee discount, but I'm just so taken off-guard by this "giggling" that I've already left the store before I processed it as "omg, maybe she's into me!" 

Ladies, tell me. Tell me! Tell me. Are these girls interested, or am I just a creeper who's overthinking things? (Puh-lease, I'm a lesbian, of course I'm overthinking things.)

(cough) Excuse me, back to Saving Face. 

So Wil is a surgeon. Yippee! Her life is going well, she's gonna be a baller soon, and she met this incredibly hot and graceful dancer chick that probably can wrap her legs around her own body. Twice. It's like every girl's dream, a yoga instructor, gymnast, or a dancer. mmmmm... ;D Played by the incredibly cute Lynn Chen, who looks just as incredibly much like Ah Sa (Charlene Choi) from Hong Kong pop idol/slutasticness Twins. I thought it was her in the movie when I first saw the posters. Don't get me wrong, I love Ah Sa, but I never have anything against sluts. 

Okay, whatever, I'm crazy. But no! certain shots of these girls look a lot alike! I promise! Yeah, I actually get that a lot, I think some girl reminds me of some chick, but honestly, nowhere near. Mmmhmm. Charlene is much cuter, and Lynn is much sexier. (sigh) I fail once again. And yes, that does look like a stalker pic of Charlene, only if I'm that stalker...

Anyways! But like any movie, things that goes well doesn't last for long. Of course not. There must be conflict to have resolution. And without either, you have no movie. Or a really shitty one. So one day, after a long day of surgeoning, Wil comes home to find a lost puppy outside her door. Except that lost puppy has a family-size pack of Charmin's big rolls with her. And that lost puppy is her mother. Turns out, her widow mama is preggers. That means, Wil can pick up chicks with her little brother/sister when she's 48 and her sister/brother is 18. (I've already done the calculations, when my little über cute niece is 18, and I'm 36, we can go clubbing and she can seduce little boys while I hit it home with her hottie friends who are "just so confused". ;D I'm horrible.

Well, no spoilers this time! So you'll have to watch the movie to find out what's going on, what happened, and how crazy does surgeon/dancer sex gets! But the review doesn't ends here, noooo... I still haven't put in my 3.43 cents worth yet!

What I liked about this movie:
I loved Saving Face super much, obviously, I've seen it so frick-frackin' many times. It has a really cute story. Really, it does. It doesn't take the lesbianism out of reality, as in no one cares that this hottie is banging that hottie. It actually puts lesbian back in its place of being nonchalant in the 21st century American community, but totally taboo in the daily reenactment of the 19th century Asian population. People would NEVER began to imagine someone as being gay, no matter how flamin' they are. Welcome to oblivion. 

It is a really good coming out movie to show your parents if you have the balls to do it. (which I really don't) And it's just a good, cuddle up with ice cream, it's raining-men-out-there-but-I-don't-care-days movie. Everytime I want to pop in a movie, but have no idea what to watch. I watch Saving Face. I've also written SO many papers on this movie, it's starting to get redundant. And also got A's on those papers too! My paper was so moving that my teacher actually watched it with her fiancé, and she was like, "it was an interesting watch". Yikes.

What I don't like about Saving Face
When I first encountered this movie, (which can be found at your local Blockbuster or YouTube [Product placement! pay up, hos]) I was like, 15. And didn't really have a taste or distaste for bad acting. So when I watched it after seeing "better" movies, and found this to be a really bad acted movie. I mean, given it's overall impact on me, its a really good movie, but the acting definitely needs work. 

But yeah, when you are bored, or just jonesing for some good ol' lesbian action, hit up Saving Face, I don't think you'd be disappointed. Hot chicks. Check. Asians. Check. Multilingualism. Check. Sex. Check. Hot Asian Chicks. Check. Hot Asian chicks having sex. Check. Hot Asian chicks speaking multiple languages while having sex. Um... yeah, this movie needs work.

As a first production from the Asian lesbian director Alice Wu, it's a gem.