Sunday, June 19, 2011

Cheatos, anyone?

So the number one reason why people are in relationships is the sense of security, don't quote me on this. Most people want someone else to be there to share the joy and happiness in life. And the knowledge of that someone always being there gives a sense of security. I must say, there are people who take that "someone always being there" for granted and... you know, cheats.

The thing is, I'm not one to pass judgement on cheating, as I've been on all 3 sides of the argument (Cheater, cheatee, and the cheated).

  • In my first relationship, I was young and inexperienced... I held onto someone for longer than I should have (a whole month). She inevitably found someone she didn't find as a noob, and conversationally better. I mean, I've shown you guys my 14 y/o pics... I was 16. An ugly duckling doesn't turn into a swan THAT fast. I deserved to be cheated on a dumped. The worst part is, I dropped the "L" bomb after she dumped me... hoping she would take me back. Whhhhhyyy?
  • -Good: I learned to be a 'girlfriend'
  • -bad: I got a speeding ticket going to see her.
  • -ugly: the other girl(s) she cheated on me with
  • In between my 1st and 2nd relationship, I was in between someone else's relationship. I'm not gonna elaborate upon this, but I was deservingly heart-broken. And I don't speak to either party anymore. :( But you know, if I learnt nothing, it should at least be that "don't be THAT girl". It's not worth it, and there's plenty-o-fish in the sea. (Pun intended) Honestly, at this point, I want my friendship back (that may just be the snarky me talking because I'm currently in an incredulously happy relationship). Nothing physical happened between us, but I felt an incredible emotional bond. I guess that depends on each person's dictionary as "cheating" or not.
  • -Good: I was emotionally occupied for a while... preventing me from STDs (they were still called STD's back then) for good while.
  • -Bad: Torn up my friendship with two wonderful people
  • -Ugly: My own heart.
  • So when I was in my previous relationship, I was the cheater. Twice. Of course it's heartbreaking for both parties. I felt ultimately the most guilty about things... until I didn't cared. And that's also when I broke off the relationship. This is when I learned to not date the same person twice (regardless of how much she or I begs). When I didn't care that I was hurting her, that's when I realized that I no longer want to be in this relationship, regardless of how many strings are attached. It was rough, I'm sure... and I am an asshole, for sure... but who was I hurting more to be in a relationship that I didn't care about anymore?
  • -Good: We are both back in our lives where things are good for us.
  • -Bad: Messy break up.
  • -Ugly: things that were said to one another in the relationship.
I always felt like I had a little growth spurt with each heartbreak.

Now the point: Cheating. It's inevitable. It's always gonna be hard. And it's gonna happen to everyone. Let's just say there are 3 things in life that are unavoidable: Death, Taxes, and cheating.

I'm not saying that EVERY relationship is gonna end (or not end) in cheating, but it really will happen in one's life. I think it's part of growing up. And once you've experienced one, or all three, of the cheating phases, you're ready to fall in love for realsies.

Gather what you want out of this post, I guess I just wanted to share some of my personal cheating experience.

But what I'm gonna do is list a few things that I personally consider as cheating. *ahem, girlfriend* :P

  • Kissing - unless you have a good ass reason, it's pretty hurtful (good reasons include, but not limited to: CPR, Tongue wrestling to settle an argument of who's tongue is stronger, or, "I've never kissed a guy/girl before! I wanted to know what it's like!"(please do NOT replace 'guy/girl' with pets)
  • -BUT! these are bad excuses: "I've never kissed him/her before, I just wanted to know what it's like!", "I wanted to taste her new lip gloss!", or "She/he was tongue tied, I just wanted to help him/her out."
  • Fucking - that's... yeah.
  • Emotionally cheating - it hurts more than those two above combined. No, I'm not saying that as humans, we're not allowed to "like" other people/pillows while we're in a relationship. But to be in a relationship, you sign over all rights to romantically care for someone else. Sorry buddy, didn't you see that in the fine print?
  • Oral sex - I don't know about you, but genitals touching someone's mouth is... intimate.
  • Sexting - Oh please, don't tell me your thumbs were "bored". It takes emotions to sext. Unless you're a serial killer. Then you really shouldn't be dating him/her anyways.
  • "Hanging out" - Okay, now don't look at me like I'm a lunatic. Hanging out is totally fine. Hanging out means you guys are gonna have a few beers, watch a movie, and talk. But "hanging out" means you guys are having wayyy too much to drink, watching porn, cuddling and "talking", is not cool.
  • Which reminds me -- Cuddling - Is not cool unless: you're related, you're unrealistically older/younger than the cuddler, or the cuddler is a mythical creature (yetis, dragons, asians with large boobs, sphinxes, and etc)
  • Grinding - What part of "no cuddling" do you not understand?? And NO, you can't go from grinding without cuddling. That'd be like tonguing without making out.
What do you think are somethings on your "cheating" list?

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