Thursday, May 21, 2009

No, She's NEVER Into Me

Here, at home on my day off, I was going through my random internet-related routines, and found a comment on my last post. Reader The Labyrinth requested a review of the movie He's Just Not That Into You. Being reader-oriented that I am, of course I'd do it! I actually watched this movie when it first came out in the theaters back in February. I'd never say no to a remotely decent chick-flick, even if it's straight. My buddies in my dorm were all into it, and it just looked so cute! So we had a girls night that went sour (always does, women can never be satisfied), and went to see the movie. 

Nothing really bothers me, so even if some hos are pouting, I'm still gonna go to the movie and have a good time. I hooted and hollered at the screen, hehehe I'm such a dyke. 

Starring... Yeah, you can read your own movie poster. Hah. I watched this movie because the trailers seemed AWESOME. You know those movies, like the trailer gets you all excited and pumped up and you're like, "Yeeahhh! Badass Mother fucking movie! I'm gonna spend 10 bucks and watch that shit!" Then, ten dollars and 1.5 precious hours later, you walk out of the cinema and you're like, "Wow, the only good parts are in the trailer." And you feel gypped. That's life, right?

Okay, I'm NOT saying this was one of those movies. I'm saying this movie stars many of my favorite actresses, such as Ms. Barrymore (we're no longer on first and last name basis, as I made a public apology to her [please forgive me!]), Jennifer Aniston (LOVED her since Friends), Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Connelly (she gained a few wrinkles since the Labyrinth days, but still lookin' sexier than ever!).  

See I didn't realize that Labyrinth was so old that color didn't exist! Thanks to a scientist back in the 80s that gave us color. Prior too, everyone was either black, white, or somewhere in between. No other races existed either, other than black, white, or somewhere in between. ;D

So He's Just Not That Into You is a pretty special movie for me, actually. In the movie, they have people (supposedly "real people", those that are not paid to be in the movie because they are doing an interview for the movie, but in reality those actors paid to be "act" like a "real person" was probably paid a lot more. More than Ben Affleck, but slightly less than Drew Barrymore [ahem, Ms. Barrymore]) give a little schpeal about relationships. Particularly, there's one titled "If she's not sleeping with you..." And the man on the large movie screen was going on a tirade about why women won't sleep with men and shit of the like. But before the camera cuts him off, he was ranting about women who won't sleep with men, are named "Amber and Christine". This may seen of no significance to any lame person, but... this blog is exported to FaceBook, ><, I can't explain, but I'm sure you can guess what's up. 

Okay, so back to reviewing. Shit, I really fail at this thing, I might as well just stop reviewing and call it, "Lisa's Feelings About Movies Made". Okay, even if, I have to finish this one. 

Well, so this movie follows the sex-lives of the lead characters listed in the movie poster above, except Ms. Barrymore. It was quite surprising to me that she had more of a cameo existence rather than a lead. I mean, I understand that she produced this movie, and want to draw people by using her big name and all, but she's co-starring JENNIFER ANISTON! The tickets sell themselves! Oh god, like if a movie like Marley and Me can make it without Ms. Barrymore's endorsement, I think He's Just Not That into You can too, seeing there's Jennifer Connelly in it as well. I actually haven't seen Marley and Me, so I shouldn't so quickly pass judgement. (Psst, it's Marley and I, because it's the assumed subjects of the non-existence sentence, but still, it's grammatically incorrect). Still, no judgements. 

Wow, I really fail. 

So this movie was derived from a book that derived from a line uttered in the show Sex And The City. Some point in them, one of the lovely ladies from Sex said something like, "He's just not that into you," or whatever, and a couple of self-help writers wrote a little pocket book on reading the signs that "He's just not that into you". You'd be surprised how dense people can be. People actually DO need a book and/or movie to let them know that someone is not interested. I mean, by now, I'm like a Ph.D. in that department. Because She's NEVER Into Me. 

Well, so it was a very clever movie, I'm not gonna lie. I always appreciate a movie that's not just focused on one dimension of time and space. Those characters all intertwine somehow, and it was nice. But honestly, straight relationships are just so mundane! There's always the same things, "Guy doesn't want to get married, girl does. Guy changes mind in end. Lives happily ever after", or "Wife loves Guy, Guy loves Wife. One of the two falls in love with their soulmate. Divorce happens. Or they work through it 'for the sake of the kids'." Or, "Girl constantly bitches about not being able to find love." Lather, rinse, and repeat if necessary ever Friday. 

As straight chick-flicks go, this one wasn't too bad. It had good looking characters, very cutesy acting. 

The only complaint I can really  have is how annoying Ginnifer Goodwin's character is! Watch the movie and tell me if you disagree.

One last comment! 

Regarding the trailer quote that EVERYONE holds to heart, "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies!" said Drew [Ms.] Barrymore's character, Mary. I think everyone under the age of 30 these days can feel the impact of the honesty of this statement. I think it's just stupid to go around leaving these messages on that many portals. Are you trying to play hard to get? See, you're SO good at it that you're now "impossible to get". Who has the day and time to go around checking and sending all those things anyways?! Like I have my email and text message on my phone, and I'm muy contento. He's probably not rejecting you, Drew, he probably never got your message that you left at his house and thought you blew him off!

Let's not make life more complicated than it is! Everyone knows that it's hard to sustain or even find a relationship these days... it's harder with a gay one. So please stop playing your stupid games and just come out and say it. Instead of dropping hints that He's Just Not That Into You, just stop. Calling. Or just break it off. Lame excuses ARE lame. 

I've actually had someone tell me that lame excuses are lame, then turned around and gave me some lame excuse about how she doesn't wanna chill. And another who was always too busy for me, yes, she was a rockstar, and yes, her name is Britney Spears. That's why she wouldn't go out with me. 

Well, my little blog is not gonna make an impact, but I hope people do eventually clean their shit up and grow some balls and just come out and say, "I'm just not that into you". 

There's no such thing as being too busy for someone, unless you're Britney. If you want to make time for someone, if she really wants to see you, hang out with you, be with you, she will skip lunch, or sleep. 


  1. I am touched.. You ACTUALLY did a 'Lisa's Feelings About Movies Made' I requested.. Hahahha.. And PLEASE.. Don't hold back at all on your feelings!! =P Are you actually this witty or are you like totally a different person in real life?? I actually chuckled and giggled like a kid in my office this morning while reading and a guy had to come in to witness. I am pretty sure I've lost all his respect. =/ It would suck for me if I haven't watched, since you pretty much told the ending in your 'Lather, rinse, repeat' paragraph.. Lucky for me, I have. =) And I TOTALLY agree with the last 4 paragraphs of the post. Though it makes me wonder.. What if someone were to really say it right to my face that she's not into me.. or that she's not interested.. I'd probably just stood there dumb-founded and be like 'you don't have to say it like that.. SO RUDE!!' =P I do believe that most people probably don't say it out right to avoid hurting the others feelings, but to those few who love stringing people along.. I hope your cell phone dies on you and you loose all your contacts.. =P That's the worst I could think of without involving sickness or death.. Hehhe.. And btw, if you and I were to be in the same theater and you 'hooted and hollered', I'd go over to you and smack you on the head and maybe pour my popcorn on you.. =) Cheers..

  2. Hahahaha ^^ I'm glad you likes. :D Nahh, I'm a total lame sauce in person, and more annoying and make even more inappropriate comments. I'm glad that dude lost respect, we don't need respect from people who doesn't appreciate humor. :D Unless he's your boss, then, Yikes! i'm sorry! haha :D

    any more requests?

    and cell phone contacts... Girllll you're aggressive! too bad that happened too me wayy too much, that's why there's those stupid facebook groups that retrieves numbers. Lame sauuuce! :D

    You have a great day! Happy Friday!

  3. Oh DAMN! You're taking requests now eh.. In that case, Saw 1-5, Grey's season finale, Angels & Demons [please don't reveal too much.. JUST a review and NO FEELINGS!! =P Haven't watched it yet..] Oh heck, I'll throw in '17 Again' too.. I can't stand that Zac Efron dude.. =D

    And, I'm interested in your take on 'age difference in a relationship'. Hahah.. I feel like my high school Eng teacher now. He came in one day and just said to the class: 'I want you guys to write a 500-word essay on YELLOW'.. wth right?!? Yeah.. I didn't do too well but I'm sure if you were in that class, you'd have no problem with it. =P

    Btw, those 'requests' up there are just that: Requests. Don't feel obligated to write about all those lame stuff.. =P You know what.. SCRATCH THAT!! DO write about those lame topics.. Just maybe split them into a few posts. Hahhah.. =D Reading your post in the morning is a great way to start my day, unless someone interupt my 'chuckling session' again.. And he is one of my staff. I try to be more formal and professional in the office, but yesterday definitely killed it. =/

    I just bought a game on Yahoo called 'Plants vs. Zombies'. It is so crazy scary and addictive!! =) I kept losing and the zombies eat my brain.. Gahhh!!!

    Have a good one!! =)