Sunday, May 24, 2009

Age is Just A Number...?

So by request, there is an excellent topic that I wanna talk about: "How young is too young for me to date your skinny ass?" or "If I remember when the dinos became petroleum, is that too old for you to date me?" 

Like classic folks say, "Age is just a number". That's what cougars say when they want to bang some fresh meat. Or what gold diggers say when they need someone new to feed their habit. (I'm speaking of Abercrombie & Fitch, Luxury hand bags, luxury sunglasses, overpriced French food, and occasionally, crack.) I personally think there's a limit or restriction. 

We actually talked about that in my Gender Studies class last semester, and we concurred as a class that legal limits are set for a reason. A youngster under the age of 18 has a prematurely developed frontal lobe that prevents them from accurate make decision about anything. (I hate hate hate being stuck behind kids at the cereal aisle, they can't ever decide between Cinnamon Toast Crunch or French Toast Crunch. [or maybe it was just my dilemma since I'm the only one old enough to even remotely remember that they ever made a "French Toast Crunch". Greatest cereal ever. I swear])

Well, going back to the topic... 

I personally have no fucking idea how I feel about age and relationships. Like I, an 18 year-old, always have been crushing older women ever since I was aware of my gayness. But how old is too old? I like older women because they are more mature, and I can be my gay ass immature self with them and be justified because I am young. I also like to blame all my faults and immaturity on me being a kid. But no longer can I do that, right?

High schoolers bother me. I know, I need to get off my high horse because I should only be a high schooler, getting ready to graduate. But I feel like a year of college whipped me into shape. I know how to deal with people better, talk to people, and being myself and having a good ass time. High schoolers tend to hold on to things beyond their reach. (I guess it's just some people in general). But once you hit a stage in your life, you learn to let go of things that don't matter as much or can't help. Maybe it's all me. But I always had a hard time working with younger people, and preferred older people. 

As I hit a plateau of maturity, I am hoping that everyone is on the same page after... 18, 19? I mean, there is a significant difference between 15 year-old Lisa and 18 year-old Lisa. And I guess I'm just assuming that everyone else is the same. Assuming. I don't know for sure. Also I talked to someone a little bit ago, she was 14, 15ish, and I was 17, and we didn't click that well. I blamed it on the age, but it might just be because we're different people. 

See, I have no right writing about this, since I know nothing about this topic and I am sure as hell confused as everyone else is about it!

I mean, I wouldn't mind trying things out to see if it's the age or the person. I would conduct an experiment with controlled variables down to the very last hair on the back of someone's feet. Too bad that's impossible. 

I guess, in conclusion, the only thing that matters is if these two people are on the same page of their life. I think it's completely ridiculous to date someone right before they go off to college. College opens up a world of new experiences, and it would be completely unfair to have a long distance relationship that might "hinder" (I know it's not the best word for it) the ultimate college experience. It's also ridiculous to think that a high school relationship will last forever. According to my friends stats, they don't. People become on different pages of their lives, people change, it's a fact. 

It seems weird to me to date someone under the age of 18 that's MUCH younger than me. I would feel like a paedo. I mean, a 13-14 year-old would have nothing to offer me. More likely than not, they would not have a path set for themselves that they want to follow like I do. They are kids. I am not. I'm responsible. And that would also be illegal. I do enough illegal shit that that shouldn't be one of them. 

Anyone older than I would be okay, as long as they want the same things out of life as I. 

I don't know what else to ultimately say, other than this:

I guess age doesn't really matter as long as two people are open for discussion regarding what who wants out of a relationship. Make sure that portal is open, because life situations change. A lot. 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star 運財至叻星

Many people probably haven't even heard of this movie before. And I don't blame them. Many people probably have seen this movie like 34543 million times because it comes up on their TVB programming 34543 million times, every Chinese New Years. And people probably just watch it in the background as they feast with their families or play mahjong or eat dumplings. I've seen it 34543 million times times 4. I just bought it on DVD last summer before I went off to college. 

Currently in my DVD player: Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Zak and Miri 
(Yeah, I have a multi-disc DVD player, be jealous! Actually no, I don't, I'm not a baller, I just have 3 DVD players. ><)

Currently on my blog list: Grey's Anatomy Season 5 Finale, Saw Series, Relationship and Age and 17 Again
(correction: I WILL NOT do a schpeal about that Zac Effron movie, though I love love love Matthew Perry. I might just post a blog about how stupid the movie seems and I'd never watch it, but I WILL NEVER DO A REVIEW!!)

I LOVE Twinkle Twinkle Lucky Star! It's completely retarded, but it was very cleverly written with joke after joke after joke! It's the epitome of classic HK comedy. They just don't make movies like they used to.. ><

Starring 陳百祥,袁靑見靑見 (Sorry, I can't find the character for her name in my version of chinese input ><), 鐘麗緹,Michael Wong, and many many famous guest cameo stars. My favorite is probably 吳鎮宇, his role as the main antagonist on Earth. Freaking hilarious. 

I think it's a really simplistic movie with a few simplistic cutesy themes, and that's enough to sell me.

TTLS is about a windfall god that came down to Earth because his "lover" (just another hot chick he has the hots for) has been banished to Earth because she was dating another "god". Who happens to be an angel, an envoy sent to Chinese Heaven by Jesus. St. Michael. haha So he just picked up his ass and left his cushy job as a god, with magic and longevity and fans to risk losing his job forever and being a mortal (oh no!) FOR A GIRL!? Who does that shit?! Well, I didn't graduate high school early for a girl. Or did I? I don't remember, little 5 happened. ;D

Turns out either Superman can fly into the heavens, or he's a god. I'd prefer the former, he's a bad ass, but doesn't have the creds to be wandering around with Choi Sun, Yuk Wong Dai Dei, Yi Long Sun, Sou Xing Gong and the like. 

Okay, so since this is a LGBT (remember kids, L comes first!) blog, I might as well interject some LGBT shit into this movie. hehe. 

So Nak (the windfall god) is on Earth, and he has to get his goddess, who's now a regular human (but was a porn star), Christie, to say those three magical words that every person fear ("abra cada bra!" or "mali mali hom!") so he can take her back to heaven with him.  
(„noʎ ǝʌoן ı„ : ʎןןɐnʇɔɐ sı ɹǝʍsuɐ ʇɔǝɹɹoɔ ǝɥʇ)

Of course she's gonna be a ho about it. But it's not her fault, Nak never explained the premise of the deal about being a goddess and the power and the longevity and fans and shit of the like. If he did, shit, I'd take it runaway from Earth and my 全城最受歡迎男歌手:城城 (City's most popular male singer: Xeng Xeng) boyfriend. I can pick up all the other hot goddess chicks and have hot goddess sex all of eternity. ;D

Well, so Matchmaker God, Yuet Lo, gave Nak a pill that one would eat and fall deeply in love with Nak. Guess who didn't eat the pill? Guess who did? Yup, Xeng Xeng did. 

So we have a gay boy in this movie now. We have a potential gay-lationship ready to blossom! Yeah, but Nak is too much in love with Christie. Or whatever. 

There's this very funny scene where Christie asks Xeng if he wants Nak or her. Those hos, don't know you how to share? Geez. Well, he wants Nak so Christie leaves. Wait, he wants Christie. Xeng wants both!! Oh no! What should he do!? "How about you leave? That'll make things uncomplicated," Nak interjects during a supposed "private" conversation. 

Well, Xeng doesn't leave. He stays. It's such a typical HK movie where the main characters are the only ones with remotely good acting skillz and everyone else is reading dialogue. Christie was probably only employed for this movie because she's a sexy beast. Michael actually did a pretty convincing job as a gay boy who's in love with Nak. Beautiful (who's original name was Liza, when she was dating Cup Noodle [羅家英]) was seriously an okay actress, her expressions were over exaggerated, but that's what this movie sought. Also, there are so many little puns in this movie that you'd only understand if you are a die-hard TVB fan. (in which I have the membership card for ;D)

But this gay relationship wasn't criticized or denounced. It was simply an easy way to poke at Michael Wong. So it was laugh track. At least there's exposure. But it was done in a crude way in which it stereotyped gay men as feminine and clingy. At least there's exposure. 

It was an adequate storyline though. It would have been just a funny if it was some random ugly chick (如花)that ate the pill (typically that's how the movies run). But they didn't want to use too many actors or actresses, they already spent a shitton on the cameos! So it was Mikey that was the lover. 

And if you watched realllllllllllllly carefully, at the end scene when (blank) won the Gambling King contest, Xeng hugged Mr. Wu (out of happiness or saddness? Watch it to find out!) and gave him a peck on the cheek, Mr. Wu checked Xeng out. It was super funny and super cute. He deserves to be an Oscar-equivalent winner. hehehe.  

Okay, gay enough for you?

Well, so other theme in this movie is about finding love in the most unexpected places. If I say anymore, it's gonna be spoiled. SO... SPOILER ALERT! Don't scroll down if you wanna see this classic badass yourself!!

I warned you.


So of course Nak ends up with Beautiful. She was just his "guiding light" to find Christie at first, but more developed. Of course. Clliiicchheee. 

But while you're so desperately looking for the girl that you find the most attractive, you happen to neglect the people around you. You shouldn't do that! It's programmed into our DNA to "value sex and devalue friends", but when shit happens, who are you gonna be crawling to in the middle of the night? 

And turns out, this friend of Nak's happened to be the girl of his dreams! Yey for happy ending! But even then, Christie is held hostage by Mr. Wu (loosely translate: pretty kwen), Nak still holds up his end of the task to save a girl that hated him, despised him, wanted nothing to do with him. It's life. There's always gonna be those dudes out there, why bother? let them live their life, and you happily with yours. 

This is a really funny ass movie with cutesy little jokes everywhere. I can probably quote half this movie... Please check it out, let me know if I'm retarded or not (more like YES.) 

Nak got a group of cops to dance with him (What's good to eat about a Driver's license? If you wanna eat, you should eat an ID!)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

No, She's NEVER Into Me

Here, at home on my day off, I was going through my random internet-related routines, and found a comment on my last post. Reader The Labyrinth requested a review of the movie He's Just Not That Into You. Being reader-oriented that I am, of course I'd do it! I actually watched this movie when it first came out in the theaters back in February. I'd never say no to a remotely decent chick-flick, even if it's straight. My buddies in my dorm were all into it, and it just looked so cute! So we had a girls night that went sour (always does, women can never be satisfied), and went to see the movie. 

Nothing really bothers me, so even if some hos are pouting, I'm still gonna go to the movie and have a good time. I hooted and hollered at the screen, hehehe I'm such a dyke. 

Starring... Yeah, you can read your own movie poster. Hah. I watched this movie because the trailers seemed AWESOME. You know those movies, like the trailer gets you all excited and pumped up and you're like, "Yeeahhh! Badass Mother fucking movie! I'm gonna spend 10 bucks and watch that shit!" Then, ten dollars and 1.5 precious hours later, you walk out of the cinema and you're like, "Wow, the only good parts are in the trailer." And you feel gypped. That's life, right?

Okay, I'm NOT saying this was one of those movies. I'm saying this movie stars many of my favorite actresses, such as Ms. Barrymore (we're no longer on first and last name basis, as I made a public apology to her [please forgive me!]), Jennifer Aniston (LOVED her since Friends), Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Connelly (she gained a few wrinkles since the Labyrinth days, but still lookin' sexier than ever!).  

See I didn't realize that Labyrinth was so old that color didn't exist! Thanks to a scientist back in the 80s that gave us color. Prior too, everyone was either black, white, or somewhere in between. No other races existed either, other than black, white, or somewhere in between. ;D

So He's Just Not That Into You is a pretty special movie for me, actually. In the movie, they have people (supposedly "real people", those that are not paid to be in the movie because they are doing an interview for the movie, but in reality those actors paid to be "act" like a "real person" was probably paid a lot more. More than Ben Affleck, but slightly less than Drew Barrymore [ahem, Ms. Barrymore]) give a little schpeal about relationships. Particularly, there's one titled "If she's not sleeping with you..." And the man on the large movie screen was going on a tirade about why women won't sleep with men and shit of the like. But before the camera cuts him off, he was ranting about women who won't sleep with men, are named "Amber and Christine". This may seen of no significance to any lame person, but... this blog is exported to FaceBook, ><, I can't explain, but I'm sure you can guess what's up. 

Okay, so back to reviewing. Shit, I really fail at this thing, I might as well just stop reviewing and call it, "Lisa's Feelings About Movies Made". Okay, even if, I have to finish this one. 

Well, so this movie follows the sex-lives of the lead characters listed in the movie poster above, except Ms. Barrymore. It was quite surprising to me that she had more of a cameo existence rather than a lead. I mean, I understand that she produced this movie, and want to draw people by using her big name and all, but she's co-starring JENNIFER ANISTON! The tickets sell themselves! Oh god, like if a movie like Marley and Me can make it without Ms. Barrymore's endorsement, I think He's Just Not That into You can too, seeing there's Jennifer Connelly in it as well. I actually haven't seen Marley and Me, so I shouldn't so quickly pass judgement. (Psst, it's Marley and I, because it's the assumed subjects of the non-existence sentence, but still, it's grammatically incorrect). Still, no judgements. 

Wow, I really fail. 

So this movie was derived from a book that derived from a line uttered in the show Sex And The City. Some point in them, one of the lovely ladies from Sex said something like, "He's just not that into you," or whatever, and a couple of self-help writers wrote a little pocket book on reading the signs that "He's just not that into you". You'd be surprised how dense people can be. People actually DO need a book and/or movie to let them know that someone is not interested. I mean, by now, I'm like a Ph.D. in that department. Because She's NEVER Into Me. 

Well, so it was a very clever movie, I'm not gonna lie. I always appreciate a movie that's not just focused on one dimension of time and space. Those characters all intertwine somehow, and it was nice. But honestly, straight relationships are just so mundane! There's always the same things, "Guy doesn't want to get married, girl does. Guy changes mind in end. Lives happily ever after", or "Wife loves Guy, Guy loves Wife. One of the two falls in love with their soulmate. Divorce happens. Or they work through it 'for the sake of the kids'." Or, "Girl constantly bitches about not being able to find love." Lather, rinse, and repeat if necessary ever Friday. 

As straight chick-flicks go, this one wasn't too bad. It had good looking characters, very cutesy acting. 

The only complaint I can really  have is how annoying Ginnifer Goodwin's character is! Watch the movie and tell me if you disagree.

One last comment! 

Regarding the trailer quote that EVERYONE holds to heart, "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies!" said Drew [Ms.] Barrymore's character, Mary. I think everyone under the age of 30 these days can feel the impact of the honesty of this statement. I think it's just stupid to go around leaving these messages on that many portals. Are you trying to play hard to get? See, you're SO good at it that you're now "impossible to get". Who has the day and time to go around checking and sending all those things anyways?! Like I have my email and text message on my phone, and I'm muy contento. He's probably not rejecting you, Drew, he probably never got your message that you left at his house and thought you blew him off!

Let's not make life more complicated than it is! Everyone knows that it's hard to sustain or even find a relationship these days... it's harder with a gay one. So please stop playing your stupid games and just come out and say it. Instead of dropping hints that He's Just Not That Into You, just stop. Calling. Or just break it off. Lame excuses ARE lame. 

I've actually had someone tell me that lame excuses are lame, then turned around and gave me some lame excuse about how she doesn't wanna chill. And another who was always too busy for me, yes, she was a rockstar, and yes, her name is Britney Spears. That's why she wouldn't go out with me. 

Well, my little blog is not gonna make an impact, but I hope people do eventually clean their shit up and grow some balls and just come out and say, "I'm just not that into you". 

There's no such thing as being too busy for someone, unless you're Britney. If you want to make time for someone, if she really wants to see you, hang out with you, be with you, she will skip lunch, or sleep. 

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Review of the "MILK"

Dear Readers, it's been awhile, I know. I've been moving home, going on a trip to GA, and more importantly, being a lazy ass. Hopefully now that I have basically nothing to do, I'm gonna me more available to regularly post blogs regarding nothing and everything. :D

Okay, first day back, I'm gonna do a review of the movie Milk, starring Sean Penn, James Franco, and Emile Hirsch. 

I would've never watched this movie before... I don't know. I probably would've never watched this movie period. But I heard it was very well done, also very enlightening. And it was very enlightening. 

Well, what I thought of the movie probably contradicts with a lot of people's view of the movie. My fellow gay buddy, Rick, spoke very highly of this movie, and thought it was a master piece. I was slightly under the influence when I watched it last night, so give regards to what I'm saying. haha ;D

So, I picked this movie up while getting Harold and Kumar: Escape From Guantánomo Bay. My brother really wanted to watch it with me, I wanted to watch Milk. So I watched Milk instead. I think it did my body better. 

What I like about this movie:

The Story. Any life bio is actually pretty dull. Like our lives aren't like life at Seattle Grace Hospital. Or Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Or at the Planet. Or Wisteria Lane. (btw, I drove by that street while I was in GA!) Well, most people's lives are pretty mundane. Unless something's wrong with you. ;) So basically, Harvey Milk's life was pretty much run-of-the-mill, but to make it a movie, the producers have to spice it somehow! 

The insertions of actual footage during the campaign back in the 70s was a nice touch, seamless and flawless. I don't know what was the budget of the movie, but they did good with what they had. 

The message. My favorite part. I didn't actually cry during this movie, but I did in Ghosts of Girlsfriends Past. I know, I know.. I like fluff once in awhile, okay? I mean, certain things get to me, such as family, negligence, shit of the like. 

I mean, could you imagine if any normal ass group of people who would otherwise be privileged be ostracized by everyone? Including their family? From a personal stand point, imagine walking out into the world, thinking you can do whatever the hell you want because you're a hard-working, smart, strong individual. But no. Because genetically, you are Asian, you are denied all everything in the world. The world thinks that you have nothing to provide, nothing to contribute because you are Asian. You are not allowed to have jobs or live in a shelter with roof over your head and running water because you are Asian. 

Feel free to substitute out "Asian" for anything you like; Catholic, Irish, German, English-speaking, Latino/a, Middle-Eastern, whatever. 

I think the African-Americans who participated in the Civil Rights movement in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and even til now knows what I'm talking about. 

Though the world is not like that (anymore) for Asians, it is (in less extremities) for gays. Thank you Harvey Milk! Because of this man, who started the movement against legislations against gays, I, Lisa Yang, can live this day without the fear that I might lose my job, or lose my house, or lose all my "natural born rights" because I happen to not like the penis so much. 

I think I can speak for all when I say regardless of party boundaries or religion or race, the ones dwelling in America just want America to flourish. We want a land that we feel safe in. We want to live in a place that will allow us, personally, to flourish, so that America can flourish. Everyone wants their right to practice whatever the goddamned hell they want. Imagine if a group of people wakes up tomorrow morning, decides that they all, in unity doesn't want Christians to read the Bible. Or they don't want anybody to go potty. It doesn't happen. Hopefully not. 

I know and understand that everyone has their own opinion. I respect that everyone has their own opinions. I understand certain upbringings or developments would elicit different kinds of mentality in certain people. But in our own homes, I'm sure everyone would like to do whatever they would like in their own homes. If striaghties want to watch tv, read a book, hunt a deer, shoot at random things, play board games, watch porn, teach their children how to properly thump a Bible or whatever the hell else straighties do. Hey, I personally wouldn't give a damn. And I don't. But what we do in our homes is our business.  I would LOVE to go home to an incredibly gorgeous and smart wife with our incredibly gorgeous and smart kids running up to me to give me hugs as I unload a day's stress as I plop in front of my computer to post a blog. 

If conservatives and straighties want us vote to keep their lives the way they want it, we would. Because we know (hope) that you'd do the same thing for us. But you don't. Instead, straight druggies are better than gay druggies. Straight sex offenders aren't as bad as gay ones. Homosexuality is why people become ax murderers. But straight people who are ax murderers are just having a rough patch in their life. 


Okay, I'm failing at the review of an Oscar winning movie by going on a tangent on how we're screwed over. 

So what I didn't like about the movie:

Milk is pretty... vanilla. It tells a great tell in a very attractive way. I mean, Harvey Milk predicted his own assassination before it happens. That's pretty badass. He was doing something revolutionary, something big. It was bound to happen. But honestly, the life of his isn't that... exciting. I mean, his movement was, but his life? Not so much. 

That's bout it.

Mainly it was a well dictated movie, well acted, very good portrayal of the gay community. Sean Penn did a fantastic job. I haven't seen any of this movies, but it takes something in a man to act like a gay man. 

Another out of the blue thing:

I really love love love love the community. It's just such a warm and inviting place. Asians prejudice against other Asians. Religions hate on other religions that aren't what they are. We can't have that. We don't have that. We are super united and we super love all the ones who doesn't hate us.